Beauty and the Beast: Mixed Version Parody
by Otaku Takeshi
Summary: As in 'mixed', I mean mixed with randomness, craziness, and humor..ness. This is a parody of the classic tale, remade all over again! From one winter's night, to a happy ending! So, Be Our Guest and hopefully laugh your heart out! Please dont spill any.
1. Chapter 1: The Beginning

A/N: So, this story was just made for my amusement. And since it's on my computer, and it would probably rot (not that anything on a computer would rot) let's just put it on . There's my story. Kays then, let me introduce to you my original character, Max!

Max: Hey. *smile*

...Anyways. Now let me tell you a boring little story you could skip. I wondered what if I lived through a Disney movie? So now I made Max and, guess what? He does like, 70% of what I would do in a Disney movie. Now since this author's note is getting too long...I'll get straight to the point, without spaces. Disclaimer:-I do-not-own-anything-that-is-related-to-anything-else-except-Max-and-...-no-thats-all. Oh,-and-I'll-be-doing-this-in-kind-of-a-script-form-like-the-second-story-I-ever-did.

Darn it, this is long. BUT! I have to credit PhantomKat because PK's parody story of Beauty and the Beast (I faved so please read it) inspired me to make this thing. So, PK deserves more reviews than me. THE END. Freaking mind. Onwards! And since this is getting too long, I'm not describing Max. Yet.

Oh, and to be honest, the things in parentheses is me...Yup.

* * *

><p>Max: What the? Where am I?<p>

Movie opens with a waterfall, trees, and all that stuff that are nice. Except chocolate. And ice cream. And cake. And cookies. Oh, cookies.

Max: Ohhh. I'm off screen. So I'm the narrator then?

(Duh)

Max: Fine then, I'll narrate with all my might.

The screen zooms in on a castle in the background. Supposedly, you are supposed to look at that, since its black, and not nature colored. And its a castle. Everyone loves castles.

The screen turns to glass windows, with pictures on it. Ooh, pictures.

The movie pauses on the one picture.

Max: ...

(Dood!)

Max: What? Oh. *ahem* Once upon a time, in a castle. Like, 10 years ago. There was a dumb prince.

(Max)

Max: Fine. There was a _selfish_ prince. Whose name they never mentioned in the movie, but in some other Disney merchandise. Or something.

(*facepalm*)

Max: Anyways. One Christmas night-

(MAX!)

Max: What? It _was_ on that night though!

(Just because you watched that movie doesn't mean other people did!)

Max: Ugh. One _WINTER'S_ night. There was an old woman who they never showed her face, I think. But I think she looks like that old little queen freak in Snow White.

The stained glass changes into a picture of the prince, and the hooded woman, with a rose.

Max: Anyway, this old woman-

(Just say beggar)

Max: -Beggar, offered a rose in return for shelter from the cold night. But the _selfish_ prince was repulsed by her appearance. I'd be repulsed too if she looked like that dead queen from Snow-

(THIS MOVIE IS NOT SNOW WHITE)

Max: *ahem* Since the prince was unkind for some reason, he turned the old beggar away.

Prince: Leave!

Old Beggar: Why?

Prince: Because I was unkind for some reason!

Random Dood: OH NO HE DI'INT! *snaps fingers*

Max: ...weirdo. But the beggar said not to be deceived by ugly people, for beauty is found within. Like Quasimodo. He's cool.

(You know, why is it if you're pretty, then you're a freak inside. But if its the other way, they're nice?)

Max: *snigger* You called Adam pretty. I wonder what conditioner he's using though. Cause his hair is-

(Max, you know your hair is untidy. And you like it like that)

Max: Yeah...Anyways, when Adam told her to leave again. Her ugliness melted like the Witch from Wizard of Oz, and she turned into an Enchantress.

Stained glass shows a picture of the Enchantress and Adam on his knees begging for forgiveness.

Max: HEY, I never said that yet. So, shocked by the...Enchantress. Adam went on his knees begging for forgiveness. Yeah. But...

Enchantress: Lady, you be asking for forgiveness right after you turned down an old beggar? You _actually_ think that I would forgive you? Fine, I won't give you to Darth Vader, even though he's dead, but you must turn into a hideous beast!

Adam: NOOOOOOO! NAWWWW!

Random Dood: What the *bleep* is happening?

(Viewers, this wouldn't be happening if this story turned into a movie. It would be really serious. And Max wouldn't speak anything inappropriate in a Disney movie. And there would be no notices of Darth Vader or something)

Max: Yeah, if you put that random dood into a Disney movie, that'd be bad for business.

Stained glass pictures disappears and shows the castle.

Max: There was no love in Adam's heart. Or an apple in his neck either. HAHA. Joke.

(...)

Max: *cough* The Enchantress transformed Adam into a Beast and a spell on the whole entire castle and made it look like it could be Batman's lair. The Enchantress also placed a spell on all who lived _in_ the castle. Ashamed of his better looking self, the Beast concealed himself in the castle. With a mirror, as his only way into the outside world. WAIT!

Music stops. If there was.

(Now what Max?)

Max: He has several windows.

(...his way into the outside world means, like out out side world. Like, into the town; past the Black Forest)

Max: Oh okay, just checking.

Scene shows a picture of Adam when he was weird. The Beast scratches and rips parts of the poster thing.

Random Audience: YEAH!

Random Dood: Yeah, woo.

Max: ...So, the rose the Enchantress chick had, was very special. It would bloom until his 21st year.

Scene shows the Beast near the pretty red rose under a nice glass dome thing.

Max: If he could learn to love a girl, and earn her love in return, he would turn back into a human and the spell would be broken. Wait, this part is epic.

(Undoubtedly)

Max: But if he doesn't, then he would be _doomed_ to remain a Beast forever. As years passed, he felt hope could never come. For who could ever learn to love a Beast?

Scene fades out.

(You know, that last sentence is the only one that was 100% accurate)

Max: Shhh.

Black screen comes on.

Max: Uhh.

(Yeah, the next part is supposed to be in the next chapter..)

Max: Oh okay..Hey why don't you use this part to describe me?

(Oh fine. Anyone who's bored can skip this part and go to the author's note..or something. But I recommend you skip this. Unless you wanna be bored. Or surprisingly, you're interested)

Max steps on screen.

(This is Max. Since you can't see him, I will have to descibe him. He's a dood, bout like as tall as any other prince in Disney movies. His hair is black and untidy and...with bangs or something like that. As you _cannot_ see, he's wearing a white shirt with a collar with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows)

Max: Yeah.

(He has a brown vest on that's unbuttoned. Well, you can't really unbutton it, theres no buttons)

Max: Great joke.

(Quiet. He has black pants with dark brown boots on. With some fancy silver plate or something on his boot with some gold thing attached. Oh, and see those silver gauntlets?)

Max: They can't see.

(Oh yeah...well, the one on his left hand allows him to re create anything that he has seen in Disney movies. But he can't use it cause it's gonna effect the plot. And the one on his right hand allows him to go into the Disney worlds, or in other words, movies...yeah)

Max: Hmm.

(Why am I doing this? No one would read this. Unless you're really interested about this random guy I made up)

Max: Random?

(Well, not totally random but, yeah. Oh, just for fun, I made him a prince)

Max: What?

(I never told him yet. Anyways! Freak these boring parts in stories! Onwards to a Beauty!)

Max: Or in other words, a girl with a name that means "Beauty" but you never knew yet after like how many times you watched the movie.

(Shh..GO JOYFUL DISNEY MUSIC!)

* * *

><p>AN: There you go. That last part was boring wasn't it? Please don't review bad things about the last part. Unless you were surprisingly interested by that. (and I said it again) So...I hope you like it, so far.

Max will act just like another character in a movie. So he'll interact with Belle, and the Beast, and so on. You would want to know how many things he would want to say to Gaston.

Anyways, hope you like it. Till then.. - OtakuT


	2. Chapter 2: Belle And Other Characters

A/N: Hooray, chapter 2.

Max: Yay.

Quiet, now you all may think I'm crazy if I talk to my own made up character. And that's fine, I'm proud to be weird. Pff, enough of me. Get on to the musical number!

* * *

><p>Black screen appears (again). Screen slowly fades out and shows "<em>Beauty and<em> THE BEAST".

(So much emphasis...geez)

Title fades out again and shows a little cottage with Belle coming out. Belle walks over the bridge and begins singing.

Belle: Little town, its a quiet village...

(until they wake up)

Belle: Everyday, like the one before. Little town, full of little people, waking up to say...

(I'm offended. "Little people"?)

Extra 1: Bonjour!

Extra 2: Bonjour!

Lazy and will just put numbers: Bonjour!

4: Bonjour!

5: Bonjour!

Same Random Dood from Before: Hi.

*with Belle singing in the background* (Where's Max?)

Camera moves from Belle and to a group of boxes with Max sitting on it and sleeping.

(*gets trumpet out and for some reason, can reach and blow into Max's ear*)

Max: AAH! *wakes up* What?

Finger pops out of nowhere and points to Belle hopping on to a back of some random wagon.

Max: OH SHOOT. *runs after*

Camera follows Max going after the wagon.

And after like 2 years, or 2 minutes, Belle jumps off the wagon.

Belle: There must be more than this provincial life! *enters bookshop*

Screen shows Max panting.

Max: What? *looks at wagon still parked outside the bookshop* Why are you still here?

The Dude who drives: She didn't pay me yet. Duhh. If she gets out of there without paying me I'm gonna-

Max: Do something bad and I'll make you join the _Light_ Side! THERE WILL BE NOTHING, but _fat free_ cookies!

The Dude Who Drives Wagons and Charges People for Riding on the Back of the Wagon: NOOOOOO!

Max: Yeah. You scream. *waits outside*

(...the dude's still there. Let me just vaporize him)

*cool-vaporizing-swishing-beep-sound-thingy*

(Now where were we?)

Belle exits the shop with a book in her hands.

Max: *sees Belle* There she-

Random Extra Doods: (singing) Look there she goes, the girl is so peculiar. I wonder if she's feeling well.

Max: *Struggling through crowd* WA-

Random Extra Doodettes: With a dreamy far off look,

Max: Uh-

Random Extra Doods: And her nose stuck in a book.

Max: I hope its not glue-

Every Random Extra: What a puzzle to the rest of us is-

Max (and Extras): Belle!

Same Random Dood: Bad timing.

(He'll be okay. He's one of the good side characters anyway. So, he'll catch up to her in time)

Belle sits on a fountain, or near the fountain..or something.

Belle: (singing) Oh, isn't this amazing. It's my favorite part, because- You'll see!

Oh, I forgot to point out there were sheep in here. *sheep _magically_ appear cause this is a Disney movie, and Disney movies are _magical_*

Belle: Here's, where she meets Prince Charming, but she won't discover that it's him till chapter three!

(Yeah, right after she saw the whole transformation)

A sheep eats a piece of a page in the book.

Belle: What the *beep* are you doing? THIS IS MY *beep*ing BOOK! YOU CAN'T EAT MY *beep*ing PAGE YOU LITTLE *beeeeeeeeep* Now look at this. Look- LOOK AT THIS! This isn't new anymore cause you *beep*ing sheep had to EAT A *beep*ing PIECE.

*imagination disappears*

Max: What was that? *still trying to get through crowd...after all that time*

(My imagination...)

Max: Uh-

(Yeah)

*after awkward moment, people start singing again*

Ugly Bald Man- I mean Woman: Now it's no wonder that her name means 'beauty', her looks have got no parallel!

Max: Ew.

Wig Seller: But behind that fair facade, I'm afraid she's rather odd.

Every Extra Townsperson: Yes, different from the rest of us is Belle!

Max: Yup, she's way different considering that all of you look like...look ugly.

Camera switches to a 'V' formation of geese.

One goose falls and Lefou tries to catch it. But misses and runs to the goose and puts it in the bag.

Max: *finally away from a crowd and has a clear view* ANIMAL ABUSE!

*screen fades away*

(You just saw that a goose died. Because of this stupid idiot)

Shows Gaston for the first time.

Random Audience: BOOOO!

Same Random Dood (thats in the background): IDIOT!

(Please help the geese. And deer, because whoever killed Bambi's mother should die. DIE I TELL YOU! And as for Mufasa, he was fricking awesome, man! *sniff*)

Screen goes back to movie.

(So just donate to Red D Cross because everyone knows, that we all cried or teared up when we saw one of these unfortunate awesome animals die...ANYWAYS!)

Lefou: You didn't miss a shot Gaston! You're the greatest hunter in the world!

Max: *facepalm* _Le Stupid Fou._

(BAD FRENCH JOKE!)

Max: That wasn't supposed to be a joke.

(Oh)

Gaston: *to Lefou* I know.

Max: Little fricking... *mumbles*

Lefou: No BEAST stands a chance against you. And no _Girl_ for that matter.

Gaston: It's true, Lefou.

(EMPHASIS!)

Max: You'll get owned by a _girl_ later anyway.

Gaston: And I got my sights set on that one! *Picks Lefou up and points to Belle*

Max: *oh, by the way, he's just standing from a distance away from Belle and Gaston* Like heck you'll get your eyes set on her! LIGHTS!

Everything suddenly goes dark.

Gaston: What the-

We hear a thump on the ground. It's Lefou.

(I guess you could call it, _dark_ humor. AHHHAAAAA, Cause Lefou hurt himself and, you know..)

Max: ...LIGHTS.

Screen goes back on the movie.

Lefou: The inventor's daughter?

Max: No, naw- it's one of Captain Von Trapp's daughters.

Gaston: *not hearing Max even though Max is kind of shouting* She's the one, the lucky one I'm going to marry.

Max: Marry? She's like only 18 years old. Well even though at the end of the movie...

(Just say she can't marry Gaston cause he's a dumb face)

Max: Right.

Lefou: But she's-

Gaston: *Drops Lefou* The most beautiful girl in town. *runs hand through hair*

Max: Who the heck does that? *runs hand through hair*

(...nevermind)

Lefou: I know - *gun falls on head* Ow!

Max: Hehe.

Gaston: And that makes her the best! *picks up Lefou again..* And don't I deserve the best?

Max: Nope. You don't even deserve a pig! And pigs are cool.

Gaston: *drops Lefou and sings* Right from the moment when I met her, saw her. I said she's gorgeous and I fell!

(Let's skip this part)

Max: Indoubtedly.

Fast fowards movie with that high pitch voices sounding while fast fowarding.

Max: Right here.

Stops movie. Belle is moving through the crowd while reading her book still and Gaston is trying to keep up.

Max: *groan* COMING!

Max runs through the crowd and pushes everyone. When Max went side to side with Gaston, Max _shoves_ him.

Max: *Looking back* Ha!

Crowd blocks Max again.

Max: DARN IT MAN!

At this point, Gaston is sing screaming through the crowd while random people are saying things about fish and groceries and stuff. Since this is completely useless, and everyone hates Gaston, cept a very small group of people, we will just skip it with this short little paragraph thing.

Belle spins around in the center of...somewhere in the town.

Belle: *singing* There must be more than this provincial life!

Gaston: *singing* Just watch I'm going to make Belle my wife!

Max: *singing in the same tone and to Gaston* Now shut up cause I'm bout to use this knife!

Townspeople crowd around Max and Gaston again.

Max: OH WHAT THE FREAK- I CAN'T BELIEVE IT MAN.

Every Extra Person Dude Girl: Look there she goes a girl who's strange but special. A most peculiar mademoiselle! It's a pity and a sin, that she doesn't quite fit in.

Some Peeps: A beauty, but a funny girl.

Some Other Peeps: She really is a funny girl.

Most Peeps: That Belle!

Oh yeah, Gaston was on the rooftops and now he jumps off...a rooftop.

(DIE. Oh wait, its only like 15 feet...INJURY)

Random Extra: Bonjour!

Max bumps into Belle accidentally.

Max: Oh, sorry.

Belle: *for once, ever since she got the book, not looking at her book but at Max* That's okay. *Now goes back to reading and walks away*

Max:...oh freak.

(Hm, hmm)

Random Extra 2: Bonjour!

Gaston: Bonjour! Bonjour!

Same Random Dood: Hi.

Belle looks behind her, and everyone goes off like nothing happened.

(Meanies)

Gaston is now right in front of Belle who's ignoring him.

(Go Belle!)

Gaston: Hello, Belle.

Belle: Bonjour, Gaston.

Max runs towards Belle. Gaston grabs Belle's book and looks through the pages.

Belle: Gaston, may I have my book back please?

Gaston: How can you read this? There's no pictures.

(THERE WAS PICTURES)

Max: Um, you dropped something back there, Belle.

Belle: Oh, what is it?

Max: ...nothing. *starts shaking Belle's hand and ignoring Gaston*

Belle: *is confused* Wait, how did you know my name? *also ignoring Gaston*

(_Consider the Following:_ Wait, I just noticed, what if those pictures in the book were Belle's imagination? And the sheep's...?)

Max: It's her! Its actually Belle! What? *stops shaking Belle's hand and lets go* Oh well, uh...People's been singing about you...

Belle: Um, anyway. *To Gaston* Well, some people use their imagination.

Same Random Dood: BURN!

Gaston: *looking at Max like 'Where the heck did he come from' but who cares?* Belle, it's about time you pay attention to more important things. Like me.

(Ew)

Same Random Dood That's Awesome Cause He's Against Gaston: BOOO!

Max: *has one eyebrow up* Hm.

Gaston threw Belle's book into some random mud.

Random Mud: YAY!

Belle picked up the mud and cleaned the book of its mud.

Random Mud: She touched a part of me! YAAAY!

Max: Hey, that's a classic book of Harry Potter!

(Harry Potter?)

Max: Far off places *coughhogwartscough*, daring swordfights *coughtomriddlecough*, MAGIC SPELLS, and a _prince in disguise._

(Oh shoooooot)

Belle: *is now suspicious again* How did you say every exact word I said about my book?

Max: ...gossip.

Oh don't worry. Gaston was just looking at them. But who worries about a dude in red and yellow?

Gaston: Now, why don't you come with me and take a look at my trophies? *takes book away*

Max: *grabs book and gives to Belle*

(For some reason, Gaston isn't annoyed by this)

Belle: Thank you. *To Gaston* Maybe some other time.

At this time, Bimbettes say stuff that's useless. So let us replace them with chirping.

Bird 1: *Chirp*

Bird 2: *Chirp*

*cricket sound*

(Jiminy..)

Jiminy Cricket: Sorry.

Belle: Please, Gaston. I have to go back and help-

Max: Her father. *Belle stares at him* What?

Lefou: That crazy old loon needs all the help he can get!

Idiot and the fool laughs.

Belle: Don't talk about my father that way!

Max: Yeah, don't talk about her father that way!

Gaston: That was my line!

Same Random Dood: TOO BAD, STUPID!

(Oh random dood)

Belle: My father's not crazy!

Explosion appears at Belle's house-home-cottage, thing...y. Belle runs to her house.

The freaks laugh again. Dummies.

Max: Should I go?

(Just go)

Max: Aiight then. WOO! *runs to Belle's door, patio, porch thing*

He arrives at Belle's door.

Max: *inhales, and exhales of course* Aiight.

(Stop saying 'aiight')

Max: Aiight.

(No, stop saying 'aiight')

Max: Aiight.

(ALRIGHT!)

Max:...aliight.

(Close enough)

Max knocks on Belle's door. The door opens.

Belle: It's you again.

Max: Yeahh...

*awkward moment that lasts for 5 seconds*

_5 seconds later._

Belle: Um, not to seem rude, but what are you doing here?

Max: Uh oh.

(AW MAN. What are you doing here...what are you doing here...uhhh)

Maurice: Belle! Who's that?

_Oh, and to pick up things, Belle and Maurice just talked about being a world famous yadayada. So yeah._

Belle: Just someone I bumped into in town today!

Max: Literally!

Maurice: Well, then let her come in!

(*snigger* Her)

Belle: Um, papa. It's a 'he'.

Max:...don't get confused.

(Oookaay?)

Maurice: Great chance then!

(Aw freak)

Max: Uhh..

Belle: Umm..

*awkward moment that lasts for more than 5 seconds*

_5.2 seconds later._

Maurice: Well come on!

Belle: *sigh* I guess you _have_ to come in.

Belle stepped to the side.

(Go, princess stealer)

Max: You're the one that made me. And I would never steal. *walks inside*

(Hmph)

Belle closes the door and walks inside.

Max: Nice place.

Belle: Thank you...what's your name?

Max: Max.

Belle: Nice.

*awkward moment 3 that lasts less than 5.2 seconds*

_5.1 seconds later._

(*coughbasementcough*)

Max: To the basement!

Belle: Yes!

_Scene Changes To The Basement Thing_

Maurice: There you are Belle. Now what were you talking about?

And yes, Maurice didn't notice Max. The father only knows his daughter's footsteps.

(Wow)

Max: Don't mind me, I'm just gonna sit here until you two get "acquainted"-

(They're already acquainted)

Max: -even more. *sits where Belle was supposed to sit in that one scene*

Belle: Papa, do you think I'm odd?

Maurice: My daughter, odd? *rolls out from under the machine with magnified eyeglasses things* Where would you get an idea like that?

Belle: Oh I don't know. *sits next to Max* I'm just not sure I fit in.

Max: Pff, fit in. Whenever you fit in, you die.

Stormtrooper: He has a point.

Stormtrooper 2: Why did we join the Dark Side?

Stormtrooper: Because they had cookies, milk and more movies. The light side only had 2 movies (talking about the clonetroopers) and main characters that win every battle.

Stormtrooper 2: I like cookies and milk better.

Stormtrooper: Yeah. *sips cup of milk*

Maurice: Well how about that Gaston? *rolls back under the machine thingy* He's a handsome fellow.

Max: *clears throat* AHHEEMM. ARREM. *coughand-stupidcough*

Belle: He's handsome, alright. And rude, and-

Max: Conceited.

Belle: *pause and stare at Max* Oh papa. He's not for me.

Maurice: How about him? *points to Max from under the machine*

Max: Huh?

Belle looks at Max.

Maurice: He looks okay.

(So he _did_ notice him)

Max: Okay?

Belle: Papa, you don't think I'm gonna be with him?

Max: What?

Maurice: Just a suggestion.

Same Random Dood: UM, I HAVE A SUGGESTION.

(What?)

Same Random Dood: Can you suggest me to Belle?

*cricket sound*

(JIMINY!)

Jiminy Cricket: Sorry.

(Oh and, even though you're cool Random Dood, the answer is...)

Belle/Max/Maurice: No.

Same Random Dood: Aw man. But I'll still be on your fanclub, Belle!

Max: That's not awkward at all.

Maurice: I think that done it! *comes from under the machine thingy* Let's give it a try! *turns machine on*

The machine starts chopping logs and throwing them into one pile of logs.

Belle: It works!

Maurice: It does? *dodges log* It does!

Bob The Builder: Can we fix it?

Max: It's already fixed.

Bob The Builder: Then can we do it?

(NO YOU CAN'T, NOW VAPORIZE)

**

Belle: You did it! You really did it!

Maurice: Hitch up Philippe girl! Cause I'm off to the fair!

Max: Duck!

Maurice: *ducks* Oh thank you!

Max: Yeah.

_Scene Changes to Outside Belle's House Home Cottage Thing_

Belle: Good bye, Papa! Good Luck!

Maurice: Good bye Belle! Take care!

Max: I guess I gotta go..

Maurice and Philippe disappears and appears near them again.

Maurice: Actually, Max.

(Yes, Maurice knew what his name was. I don't know)

Maurice: Stay here with Belle while I'm gone.

Max and Belle: What?

Maurice: Please stay Max!

Max: Uhh.

Belle: Papa!

Maurice: Better safe than sorry!

Max: Fine..

(Inside, he's actually happy)

Max: Quiet.

Maurice: Good bye again Belle! Max, protect her!

Belle: *waves at Maurice* Bye!

Max: Yeah, yeah. *wave sarcastically*

(You're happy, aren't you?)

Max: Yes.

Belle: *to Max* Now, since Papa forced you to stay with me. I'm sorry.

Max: Meh. It's fine.

(Booyah! I made him suffer through multiple girly Disney princess movies!)

Belle: Nice.

_At this moment on, characters can talk to the "person in parentheses". Don't ask why. I just don't know. For real._

Same Random Dood: I LOVE YOU BELLE!

(That's not right)

* * *

><p>AN: There you go. That's all I'm gonna say. Thank you for reading!

I wanna kind of hear your comments on Max too!

Here's just a short thingamabob. :D

Max: So...people better start calling you by your full name, or this will get _really_ confusing.

Maximus: *neighs and nods*


	3. Chapter 3: The Lost and The Beast

A/N: Maurice's point of view! I get to make fun of the part when Philippe gets blamed for leading Maurice to The Beast! Hehhee. ^-^ Again, I don't own anything except Max. Onwards to the Character Greeting! *snigger*

Max: *has a Mickey glove and points to a picture of The Beast*

You Disney Park people know what this means. :D

* * *

><p>Maurice: Lalalalalala, I'm an inventor taking too long to get to the fair. I took like 10 hours just to get to this forest I don't know about.<p>

(What the? Oh, it's my imagination again. Sorry)

*imagination disappears*

Maurice looks at the map he's holding.

Maurice: We should be there by now. Maybe we missed a turn.

(Someone probably already won best invention anyway, so why bother?)

_Scene Change_

Bob The Builder: I won!

Judge: Your invention was the best we've seen in 2 minutes! That's why we're giving you this ribbon that no one really wants!

Judge hits hand on table.

Judge: Owwww!

Bob The Builder: Can we fix- *hits foot on a very large rock*

We heard a crack.

Bob The Builder: AHH, WHAT THE *beep*! I CAN'T FIX THIS *beep*ing *beep*!

The Count From Sesame Street: 1 *beep*. 2 *beep*. Ha ha ha. *thunder sound* 3 beep!

D.W. (From Arthur): Wow, that's such a fancy word! Hey Arthur! What the *beep* are you doing?

Spongebob: So many sentence enhancers! Hey Patrick! How the *beep* are ya?

Patrick: Good Spongebob! You're the best *beep*ing friend I ever had!

_Scene Change...cause this is just awkward._

(That was embarassing. I don't know what went through my mind..I was just thinking how funny it was to have characters from kids' TV shows to say 'bleep' words on and on...)

Maurice comes to a fork and a sign with arrows. The right side is dark and gloomy, which is _probably_ called the Black Forest. And the left side is all nice and happy and looks like day for some reason.

Philippe looks both ways. Philippe starts going towards the _light side_.

Maurice: Let's go this way. *pulls Philippe to the _dark side_*

(NOO! THERE'S NO COOKIES THERE!)

Maurice: Of course there's no cookies there! Its a fair! *struggles with Philippe from going to the _light side_* Come on, Philippe! It's a shortcut.

(Shortcut. Hmm, note that whole sentence right there)

Philippe goes forcedly to the _dark side._

(EMPHASIS!)

Philippe and Maurice go through the dark and stuff and owls or something come out of trees and stuff.

*Wolf 1 howls*

Wolf 2: Dude, what are you doing?

Maurice: This can't be right! Where have you taken us Philippe?

(WHOA WHOA, hold it right there plot development character. You just said its a shortcut, now you're _blaming_ it on Philippe?)

Maurice: He started going this way!

(Yuhuh! *sarcastic*)

Wolf 2: *to Wolf 1* See? Now you just made the old man blame it on the horse. Yeesh.

Wolf 1: Me? That's him that decided to do that!

Wolf 2: If you hadn't howled, they wouldn't get frightened. But look at it now.

Wolf 1: Yeah but-

Wolf 2: No- no. I'm not talking to you anymore. That's all! I don't even know where we're at in this relationship anymore!

Wolf 1: Dude, we're friends.

Wolf 2: Oh yeah. But I still don't know if we're in the middle or anything!

(...drama)

Maurice: We have to turn back Philippe. Whoa boy! Whoa!

Same Random Dood: Whoaaaa.

*Philippe backs up into a tree*

Bats fly out of a random tree.

Random Tree: You just had to ruin the party didn't you horse? We were having a good time!

Philippe: *thinking* _Oh noes! Bats!_

Batman: I'm Batman.

(Shut up)

Philippe runs off frightened of the random bats coming out of a random tree and gallops through the random dark and almost falls off a random cliff.

(Randomness, is random)

Maurice: Back up! Back up boy, back up! Good boy, good boy, goooood boy!

Same Random Dood: He's a horse, not a dog. Geez.

Maurice: Steady boy, Steady! WHOA BOY!

Random Audience: Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Philippe bucks him off and leaves Maurice behind.

Maurice: Philippe? Where are you?

Batman: I took him.

(Shut up)

Wolves appear out of nowhere and start chasing Maurice.

Wolf 3: Look at all that fat!

Wolf 4: Look at all that fat AND meat!

Wolf 1 and 2: *are the only ones way different from regular wolves* What the freak.

Wolf 3: GET HIM!

Batman drops down in front of Maurice.

Batman: GO! I could talk to them.

(What?)

Maurice runs off (where the castle is of course).

Batman: WOLVES. *wolves stop and look at him* Howl. Howl. Ruff. Meow. Mooooo.

(Squeak)

Wolf 1: What is this dude doing?

Wolf 2: And what's with his voice? It's like he's having a hard time in the men's room.

Wolf 3: Just go around him!

Wolves go around him.

Batman: Cuckooo...?

(Nice job fake Batman)

Maurice is still running (kinda) and gets to the castle. The wolves try to get him but Maurice closes the gate on them. Maurice looks at the castle and we see it for the first time.

Same Random Dood: WOOO! BEAST! *holds up sign that says "Beast Fanclub"*

(Alrighty)

Maurice forgot his hat and is walking towards the castle doors.

(YOU FORGOT YOUR HAT! Oh wait. It disappears later anyway so...NEVERMIND!)

Maurice opens the doors and walks inside the castle.

Maurice: Hello? Hello? Is anybody here? I don't mean any harm but, I got lost and I need a place to stay for the night!

(Oh, and to be honest, no one won the invention contest. The judges just left after the "Beeping" started)

Lumiere: Old fellow must have lost his way through the woods.

(Didn't he just say that?)

Cogsworth: Quiet!

(You be quiet)

Maurice: Is someone there?

Cogsworth: Not a word, Lumiere. Not a word. Neither _you!_

(*cough*)

Cogsworth: Quiet!

(Dude I just coughed, take a chill pill)

Maurice: I lost my horse, and I need a place to stay for the night!

(Cause you blamed the horse of course! Oooh! Rhyme!)

Lumiere: Oh Cogsworth, have a heart.

(He has no heart. Just a thing that ticks)

Cogsworth: That is my heart!

(Well that's stupid)

Lumiere burns Cogsworth's hand/something.

Lumiere: You are welcome here!

Maurice: *looks around* Who said that? *picks up Lumiere*

Lumiere: Over here. *taps shoulder*

Maurice: Where?

(Just look at what you're holding)

Maurice looks at Lumiere.

Lumiere: Hello!

Maurice: *drops Lumiere* Amazing!

(Hooray, talking objects. Who _hasn't_ seen it? Not me)

Cogsworth walks (somewhat, but we'll just use the word walks) over to Lumiere.

Cogsworth: Now you done it! Now you-

Maurice: *picks up Cogsworth* How is this accomplished?

(By Magic! *pops fireworks*)

Cogsworth: Put me down at once sir!

(Don't put him down)

Maurice opens the front door thingy of Cogsworth and plays with his supposed 'heart'.

Cogsworth: Close that at once, Sir! *slams door thing*

Maurice: Oh, I beg your pardon. It's just that I never- Never- *sneezes*

Maurice sniffs and stuff, which means he's supposedly getting a cold.

(You know, it might not be a cold. Just an allergy...that's very effective on people)

Lumiere: You are soaked to the bone, monsieur. Come and warm yourself by the fire.

Maurice: Thank you.

(Soaked to the bone? Uhhhhh)

Lumiere: Figure of speech.

(Meh)

Maurice and Lumiere start walking to the fireplace, place.

(There are a lot of undescriptive sentences in this story)

Maurice: You're the one who made it though.

(Yeaaaaah)

Cogsworth follows after them

Cogsworth: No, no, no! Think of what the master might do if he finds out you're here!

(Don't worry. He's back in the snow wondering why he didn't talk to the wolves)

Alfred: He means The Beast, not Master Wayne.

(...where did you come from?)

Maurice sits down in a huge nice chair thats in front of the fireplace. (duh)

Cogsworth: No! No! Not the master's chair!

Coat Rack removes Maurice's cloak, that probably doesn't really warm you that much.

Sultan (Footstool, cause I am absolutely sure that they said his name in _Enchanted Christmas_, but just in case it's wrong. I'll still call him Sultan) runs down the stairs and puts himself under Maurice's feet.

Maurice: Hello!

Cogsworth is run over by the cart.

Mrs. Potts: How would you like a nice spot of tea sir?

(How many times did Mrs. Potts say "spot" in this movie?)

Mrs. Potts pours tea into Chip.

(Wow, that sounds weird)

Cogsworth: No tea! _No_ tea!

(I like tea)

Maurice sips the tea from Chip.

Chip: *Laughs* His mustache tickles, mama!

Maurice: *stops sipping* Oh, hello there!

The door behind them slams open. And for some reason probably because of the random wind, takes out Lumiere's fire, and the fireplace. Everyone except Maurice hides.

Random Wind: OWNED!

Chip: Uh oh!

The Beast enters the room, and apparently we could see its cold in that room because we could see the Beast's air coming from his nose.

Random Audience: Yeah! BEAST!

Same Random Dood: WOOOOOOOOOO!

Beast is walking like a dog.

(So that means, he's on his paws, AND paws! Ha)

Beast: *sounds all cool and beastly* There's a stranger here!

Lumiere: Allow me to explain. The gentleman got lost in the woods and was all cold and-

Beast: *ROAAAR*

(*snigger*)

Cogsworth: Master, I'd like to take this moment to say...I was against this from the start! But would they listen to me? No-

Beast: *ROAAAARR*

(Alrighttt!)

Maurice looks around in the dark frightened and the Beast looks around his chair.

Beast: Who are you? What are you doing here?

(Didn't Lumiere just say why he was here?)

Maurice: *backs away* I was lost in the woods! And- and-

Beast: *all awesome* You're, not, welcome here!

Maurice: I'm sorry!

Beast: What are you looking at?

Maurice: *backs up even more* Not-nothing!

Maurice starts to run away but the Beast blocks him.

Beast: So, you've come to stare at THE BEAST have you?

(EMPHASIS!)

Maurice: Please, I meant no harm! I just needed a place to stay for the night!

Beast: I'll give you a place to stay. *picks up Maurice*

Maurice: No! Please no!

(Chill dude, he's just gonna _intentionally_ make you rot in a jail-like place)

Beast and Maurice leave the room and everything goes awkward again.

*cricket sound*

(DARN IT JIMIN- Oh, it's just you)

Cricket from Mulan: *squeak*

* * *

><p>AN: That's all I guess. O_O Many Batman references.

Anywaays, thanks for reading! Huh.


	4. Chapter 4: Gaston's Fail

A/N: YAY! Back to Belle and Max!

Eeyore: Hooray.

...aw. The only problem is that Gaston's here. And if you didn't notice, I have something against Gaston. T-T Anyways! ON WITH THE...story.

* * *

><p><em>At Belle's House-Cottage-Home Thing<em>

Lefou: Belle's gonna get the surprise of her life, huh, Gaston!

Gaston: Yup, this is her lucky day!

Random Branch hits Lefou and fills his mouth with leaves.

Random Branch: Right in the kisser!

(*badum tsh*)

Gaston: *to the people at the supposed 'wedding'* I'd like to thank everyone for coming to my wedding. But first, I'd better go and propose to the girl!

(MUTE SOUND!)

...

(Now it doesn't sound like they're laughing! Haaaaa...unmute)

Gaston: Now Lefou, when Belle and I come out this door-

Lefou: Oh I know! I strike up the band!

The band plays some song I don't bother describing.

Gaston: Not now!

Lefou: Sorry.

(WAIT! Nothing hit him)

*Paper airplane hits Lefou's face*

(Yeah)

_Change to inside of Belle's Cottage-Home-House...thing._

First, let's recap of what happened in Belle's Cottage-Home-House thing while Batman was trying to talk to wolves and the Beast kept on roaring.

*rewind sound*

_Change Scene to Flashback!_

Max: *is sitting down at the table* So...

Max: That book must be _really_ good, huh?

Belle: *is sitting on a chair and nods*

Max: Alright then...

(Max was sleeping at the table while Belle was reading nonstop. And still didn't finish the book)

_Change Scene Back To Regular...Scene._

Belle is reading her 'supposed' _new_ book and looks comfortable, and uncomfortable in a postion on the chair.

Max is just staring at her with his mouth slightly open. Or just say, that he's bored and he's seen everything in the home house cottage thing and will just stare at Belle.

Max and Belle hear a knock on the door. Belle sighs and stands up to look who it was. Belle looks at some weird, unknown, periscope thingy and sees Gaston looking peculiar.

Max: Who is it? _Why am I asking? I seen this movie._

Belle: Guess.

Max: Wind?

Belle shakes her head.

Max: Oxygen? A leaf that blown through? _Ants?_

Belle: A person.

Max: ...OH! *snaps fingers* Gaston!

Belle nods.

Max: *has a happy look on his face that disappears* Boring. *puts his hand on his face*

Belle groans and opens the door.

Belle: Gaston, what a pleasant surprise.

Gaston: Isn't it though?

Same Random Dood: BOOOO! *holds up sign that says 'Gaston is Dumb Club'*

Max: Yeah right.

Gaston looks at him. Max smiles innocently and waves.

Gaston: Isn't that...?

Belle: Yes.

Gaston: What is he doing here?

Max: Something you can't do correctly.

Gaston: What?

Max: Protect someone, or yourself.

Random Audience: OOOOOO!

Same Random Dood: BURN!

Gaston: *glares at Max, then ignores him* (To Belle) Well, I'm just full of surprises-

Max: Yup, air.

Random Audience: Oooooo!

Same Random Dood: BURN!

(...yeah, WOOO! Okay enough with the insults)

Gaston: *glares at Max again and surprisingly ignores him, again* You know, Belle. There's not a girl in town who wouldn't love to be in your shoes. This is the day...

Gaston looks in a mirror and licks his teeth.

Gaston: Ah. This is the day your dreams come true.

Belle: What do you know about my dreams, Gaston?

Max: Ooh! Ooh! *raises hand* I know what your dreams are!

Belle: Yes, Max?

Max: You want much more than provincial life, and you want adventure in the great wide somewhere and you also want to find someone who would understand you! *grin*

Belle: ...*ignores Max, cause she knows that's scary if someone like _him_ knows exactly what you want*

Gaston: Really?

Belle: Say your line.

(YEAH GASTON. SHEESH. ALWAYS IN PEOPLE'S BUSINESS. So what kind of dude do you like, Belle?)

Everyone ignores.

(Fine, be that way. Yeesh)

Gaston: *continues, cause theres so much distraction in between lines* Plenty. Here, picture this.

Gaston sits down in the chair and puts his feet up. Max stands up immediately (He's sitting in front of Gaston) and backs away. Gaston takes his boots that are awkwardly muddy, even though outside Belle's Cottage Home House is just clean grass. His socks have holes in them.

(What the freak)

Gaston: A rustic hunting lodge, my latest kill roasting on the fire-

(If that's Bambi's mother I'm gonna kick him in places that _should_ be kicked if their personality is like that)

Gaston: *continues* My little wife, massaging my feet, while the little ones play on the floor with the dogs.

Belle pinches her nose in disgust. Max has a disgusted face too and instead of pinching his nose, he's breathing through his mouth.

Gaston stands up.

Gaston: We'll have six or seven.

Belle: *picks up her book* Dogs?

Gaston: No, Belle! Strapping young boys, like me.

Max: *to Gaston* I don't like to intrude (Yes you do), quiet, but what if you don't have six or seven boys? I mean what if one turns out to be a girl, then you would go like 'Kill her!' Then I'd be like 'What the heck?' Then your wife would be like 'No!' Then your other children are gonna be like 'Father, what the heck is wrong with you?' Then everyone in town will get mad at you then kill you..*face brights up* On second thought. Get married.

Belle puts her book on the shelf.

(Hm, you'd think there'd be more shelves around. Because, everyone knows books are like her video games)

Belle: *thinking about Max's idea* _It would be more peaceful around me without Gaston..._*to Gaston* Imagine that.

Gaston: *thinks about Max's idea* _They love me more than one little kid._ *To Belle* And do you know who that wife will be?

(SO YOU ARE PLANNING TO KILL YOUR OWN CHILD!)

*awkward moment*

(Nevermind)

Belle: Let me think. *thinks* _Hmmm...hmmm...hmmmmmmm._

Gaston: You, Belle! *puts arms on both sides of Belle*

Max: AAAAH! Oh wait, I knew he was gonna say that. But still, AAAH!

Belle: Gaston, I'm, speechless. *goes under Gaston's arms and towards the door* I don't know what to say.

Gaston walks towards Belle and pushes a chair out of his way, or whatever.

(I don't understand how he could do this while you're here, Max)

Max: I know. It's like, what the heck.

Gaston: Say you'll marry me. *puts arms on both sides of Belle, again. This is repetitive*

Belle: I'm, I'm sorry Gaston. *Gaston tries to kiss her*

Max taps Gaston's shoulder. Gaston turns around.

Max: Marry this. *punches face*

Random Audience: Oooh!

Same Random Dood That's Part Of Belle's Fanclub, Beast's Fanclub, and a Club made for Gaston Haters: BOOM! Nuke.

Gaston falls to the ground.

Max: *kicks Gaston's face* Hm.

Belle: Um, wow.

Max: Go on. Do something to him.

Belle: Really?

Max: Really.

(It's like Christmas for Belle!)

Belle: *kicks Gaston's face with all her strength* That felt nice!

Max: Oh yeah. Wait, we have to get him out.

Belle: How?

Max: Leave it to me. Open the door.

Belle opens the door inwards and outwards so it sounds confusing, and it is. Max pushes Gaston with his foot until he gets fully outside the door.

Max: There ya go. *closes door* Like nothing happened.

(Yup. It could be like he tripped, or something)

_Change Scene When People Found Out Gaston's Unconscious And They Pulled Him Out Of There_

Belle opens the door and looks out.

Belle: Is he gone?

Max: I dunno. You're the one looking out.

Belle walks out followed by Max.

Belle: Can you imagine? He asked _me_, to marry him! _Me_, the wife of that boorish, brainless-

Max: Old dumb fool!

(Exactly)

Belle: Madame, Gaston, can you just see it?

Max: _Heck_ no!

Belle: Madame, Gaston, his little wife. *kicks bucket*

Max: Nope.

Belle: No sir! Not me! I guarantee it!

Max: Like Wal-Mart!

Belle: There must be more than this provincial life! *runs out to the very nice scenery of random rivers and trees*

Random Audience: WOOOO!

Same Random Dood: Go Belle! Go Belle! WOOT!

(Okaays)

Belle: I want adventure! In the great wide somewhere! I want it more than I can tell!

Max: Yeah! You go, want it...more.

(*facepalm*)

Belle: And for once it might be grand, to have someone, understand. I want so much more than they've got planned.

Philippe gallops into the nice 'backyard'.

Belle and Max: Philippe!

Belle: What's wrong? Where's Papa? You have to bring me to him! *unhitches wagon thing*

Belle gets on and starts to gallop but stops.

Belle: Max, get on!

(Whoa! 4 'Belle's in a row! Oh, sorry)

Max: But why? _Why am I asking this?_

Belle: Because you're actually very joyful to be around.

(Uh oh, serious moment will take away the randomness! Think fast, think fast!)

Max: Like?

Belle: The insults to Gaston? And even though you kinda creep me out because I sang the exact words you said before, you're nice. I can tell by your eyes.

(It's always the eyes in this movie. "Hi Belle! I'm actually a prince! Look into my eyes!" "*looks into eyes* It's you! Now I will love you then we can be together, FOREVER!" "Yay!")

Max:...If this will help speed up the plot development, and comic relief, then let's go! *red cloak appears around him* WHOAAA DOOOOD!

Max gets on and steers Philippe the wrong way.

Max: I'm joking, just lead the way Philippe..

(2 sentences too serious! End this with something peculiar!)

Dora The Explorer: *beep* Means *beep* in English. Can you say it with me? *beep*

(Okay that's good)

* * *

><p>AN: I don't know. Honest, I don't know what's with the childhood educational TV shows saying bad words. :D

Anyways, thanks for reading! And reviews please. ^-^


	5. Chapter 5: The Girl And Some Dude

A/N: Let's see. What to say. I just can't wait until they meet The Beast! Okay that's all.

Read on!

* * *

><p>Philippe runs- or, gallops, through the dark forest leading Belle (and Max) to the Beast's castle. Even though we all know that Philippe left <em>before<em> Maurice saw the castle...

So, in the movie, they just made us assume that they went through the Black Forest without anything messing them up or something. So here's an overview of what happened to them.

_Philippe was galloping through the forest. And on their way to the castle, they found Batman trying to talk to Bats now (it still didn't work because he chirped), the same wolves from before arguing again, a hidden Mickey, Batgirl trying to tell Batman that he's using the wrong animal sound (Batman didn't believe her and said "I'm Batman! I know what I'm doing!"), Pascal, a tree from Snow White, and another hidden Mickey found on some blue castle in Florida._

And thus, ends the overview.

Philippe and Belle (and Max) arrives at the gates of the castle. Belle and Max gets down from Philippe.

Max: Now, Philippe, I want you to stay here, and if you get cold, go to the stable around the castle.

Philippe nods.

Belle: How do you know theres a stable?

Max: Because it briefly appears in the deleted song, "Human Again". Now let's go!

(That's very true, oh and if you're wondering, I won't be putting the song in this story)

Belle, wondering what that means, sees Maurice's hat and runs off to pick it up.

Belle: *in a worried voice thing* Papa.

Max: You always have to end stuff with 'thing' don't you?

(Yup)

Belle: We have to go in! *drops hat and walks towards the castle*

Max glances at the hat.

(What's wrong?)

Max: Poor hat. It doesn't have much appearances. Like only, 2 or 3.

(True...now just follow Belle!)

Max: Alright. I'm going, I'm going!

Max and Belle enter the castle. Belle looks a little scared while Max looks bored. As he knows what's here already.

Belle: Hello? Is anyone here? I'm looking for my father!

Max: She's looking for her father! *points at Belle*

_Scene Change_

Chip: Mama! There's a girl in the castle! *thinks* _And some dude._

Mrs. Potts: Chip, I won't have you making up such wild stories.

Chip: But there _is_ a girl in the castle!

Mrs. Potts: Now, Chip. Into the tub. *Chip goes in the tub-bowl thing*

Featherduster: There is a girl in ze castle!

Chip: See? Told ya.

_Scene Change_

Belle is walking cautiously while Max is walking without any troubles.

Lumiere and Cogsworth are in some room with a door.

Cogsworth: Couldn't keep quiet, could we? Just had to invite him to stay, didn't we? *imitates Lumiere* Serve him tea. Sit in the master's chair, pet de pooch.

Lumiere ignores Cogsworth and sees Max and Belle walk across.

Lumiere: It's a girl!

Cogsworth: I know it's a _girl._

Lumiere: Don't you see? She's the one we've been waiting for! She has come to break the spell! *walks/hops away*

Cogsworth: *follows* But Lumiere! There's a _boy_ there too!

Lumiere: So? It doesn't mean anything!

Max: *shouts out not knowing anything about their conversation* I know I'm a guy, but I'm just friends with her, so it doesn't mean anything!

(Really though. This didn't happen in the real movie)

Lumiere points at Max.

(Cool beans)

Lumiere opens a door behind them and hides away when Belle looks back.

Belle: What's over here?

Max: Stuff to make the plot keep going.

Belle and Max enter the room and find a stairway.

Belle pasts Lumiere. Max stops and looks at Lumiere who is pretending to be a regular object.

Max: Hm. *keeps walking*

Lumiere and Cogsworth open another door that leads to Maurice.

Belle and Max enters the jail-like room that the Beast has for some reason.

(I have an idea what Adam uses it for)

Same Random Dood: TORTURE!

(Something like that)

Belle: Papa?

Maurice: Belle!

Belle rushes to Maurice and Max follows.

Belle: *knelt down, or something and holds Maurice's hands* Papa! Your hands are like ice!

Maurice: Now Belle, listen! You have to hurry and leave here-

Belle: I won't leave you!

Max: Here it comes.

Beast: *in the shadows* ROAAARR!

All light except the one in the ceiling disappear.

Belle: Who's there? Who are you?

Beast: *ROOAARRR*

(Alriiggghttt)

Beast: *ROAAAARRRR* Arrrgh! Roarr!

Same Random Dood: Yeaaaaaaah. *holds Beast Fanclub sign up again*

Beast: *Roaaarrrrr! ROAAARR! ARGGH! ROOAARR*

Max: What time is it?

Beast: I'm the master of this castle!

(Finally. Geez)

Same Random Dood: YEAH! *holds 'Beauty and the Beast Show At Disneyworld Fanclub' sign up*

Belle: I've come for my father! Please, let him out! Can't you see he's sick?

Beast: Then he shouldn't have trespassed here!

(At this point, Belle _should_ think his voice is awesome)

Belle: But he could die! Please, I'll do anything!

Max: So will I!

Beast: There's nothing you or your sidekick can do. He's my prisoner.

Max: Sidekick?

Belle: But there must be someway I can...Wait! Thank me instead!

Beast: What?

Max: You said 'thank me' instead of 'take me'.

Belle: Oh. Well...Wait! Thank me instead!

Beast: Thank you.

Max: What the.

(Belle, you did it again!)

Belle: Oh, sorry...Wait! Take me instead!

Beast: You! *thinks that she's a nice person now* You would, take his place?

Max: You would take me too.

Beast: Why do I need you?

Max: Cause- Uh...I'm, joyful to be around with? Oh come on! It's two for the price of one! *thinks if he said it correctly* Yeah!

Maurice: Belle! Max! You don't know what you two are doing!

Belle: If I- If _we_ did, would you let him go?

Maurice: No Belle! I'm old, I lived my life!

(Not all of it)

Beast: Yes. But you must promise to stay here forever.

Same Random Dood: Oohhhhh! *puts fist to mouth*

Belle: *thinks for a minute (but is really 3 minutes)* _Hmmm. Hmmm. Is this a good deal? I don't know. But Papa might die..but then again, I might die! Oh what will-_

Max: *talks to Belle in thought form* _YOU WON'T DIE NOW SAY YOUR PLOT DEVELOPMENT LINE._

Belle: Come into the light. _I must see how he looks like. He might look really ugly though..._

Beast obeys and slowly and dramatically steps into the light. Belle's eyes get wider as he appears more clearly. Beast shows himself fully.

Same Random Dood: Sweet.

Random Teenager: OH MY GOSH, like, I wouldn't be with him, like he's like, furreh, and like, fluffy and like, totally not my like, type.

(...vaporize)

*cool-swishing-beeping-vaporizing-sound*

Belle gasps and turns away.

Maurice: No Belle! I won't let you do this!

Belle looks at Maurice then at Max who gives a caring nod. Belle stands up again.

Belle: You have my word.

Beast: Done! *Walks to get Maurice*

Belle falls to the floor. Max comes and crouches beside Belle.

Batman: I'm Batman.

(DARN IT! Oh look! 5 'B's in a row! Oh and leave Batman)

Batman: Fine...*grapples and swings away on some pretend building*

Beast holds Maurice by his cloak and drags him away.

Maurice: Belle!

Belle: Papa!

Max: Side character!

(You just ruined the moment)

Max: Sorry.

Beast magically appears outside the castle in like only 4 seconds.

Beast: Bring him back to the village.

And the spider-taxi-jail thing creeps away.

Beast appears magically inside the castle and walks up the stairway.

Lumiere: Master, since the girl will be staying with us for quite some time, I think you might want to offer her a more comfortable room?

Beast: *snarl*

(whoa)

Lumiere: Then again, maybe not.

Beast walks in the jail-like room that's all gloomy and stuff.

Belle: *cry talking* You never let me say goodbye. I might never see him again. *whispers* You never let me say goodbye...

Beast looks guilty.

Max: You never let me say goodbye too! Our last words to him were 'Papa!' and 'Side Character!' And I can't live with that knowing I called him a side character at the last moment!

(You knew that was going to come since you watched the movie though. Soo)

Max: ...darn you.

Beast: Come with me.

Belle: But I thought-

Beast: You- you wanna stay in the tower?

Belle: No.

Beast: Then follow me.

Max: What if I want to?

Beast turns back and growls at him.

Max: That's fine, I- I can come with you. *whispers* He really needs to go to anger management or something...

Max and Belle follow the Beast. Beast is holding Lumiere while they walk because he can't afford more torches to light the path up.

Beast peeks back and sees a tear running down Belle's face.

Lumiere: Say something to her.

Beast: What about the dude?

Lumiere: He's fine.

Beast: Um, I- Uh, hope you like it here.

(Wow! I would love this place! I mean look at those cracks in the wall! And those gargoyles. They look absolutely *dulls voice* stunning)

Max: So much sarcasm.

Beast: Everyone can hear the sarcasm.

(Just saying my opinion)

Lumiere tells Beast to go on.

Beast: The castle is your home now, so you can go anywhere you want. Except the west wing.

Max and Belle: What's in the west-

Batman: That's my lair.

(Shut up)

Beast: *swishes cloak and he looks all cool and all that stuff* It's forbidden. *grr*

Batman: I could grr too. *hiss*

(Just- Just go)

Batman: Fine. *grapples another pretend building and swings out on some random window that's coincidentally open*

Random Window: Yay!

They all stop in front of a door.

Beast: If you need something, my servants will attend to you.

Belle walks in the room.

Max: So, where's my room?

Beast: Over there. *points to a door a little down the hallway. Or just say points to the next door right after Belle's room*

Max: Where did that room come from?

(I made it be there. MUHAHAAAA! Okay. I'm done)

Lumiere: *whispers in Beast's ear* Invite her to dinner!

Beast: You will...join me for dinner! That's not a request! *slams door*

Max: Does that mean I can come too?

Beast: Meh. *storms off*

Max: I'll assume that's a yes. Cause it sounds like 'yeh'.

(Poor you)

Max: *hmph* He doesn't care so much for a guy. He didn't even care to slam the door in my face.

(You wanted that to happen?)

Max: It's better than a girl! I mean- _She's _the main character! _She_ gets emphasis! See? I just did it again.

(Well at least you have access to Belle's door)

Max pauses for a while.

Max: Yay! I get to say caring stuff to her that will boost her trust attributes for me! WOO!

* * *

><p>AN: ...so. Hope Max isn't that crazy. He really knows everything Disney.

Anyways! If you read this, I hope you review it! Until then, here's another short thingamabob!

Max: Now this is nice. Or confusing. Even more.

Maximus: *neighs and nods*

Max (Dog..Eric's Dog. Or just say the dog from _The Little Mermaid_): *woof*


	6. Chapter 6: Plot Development Song!

A/N: Hoooorayyyy.

Anyways, hooray for Gaston...sarcasm.

Eeyore: Hooray.

Awwww.

* * *

><p><em>Scene changes to Gaston's tavern<em>

Gaston is shown sitting in his chair. Or something.

Now at this point, Gaston starts being freaky and emo and stuff while Lefou tries to talk to him and saying no one says no to Gaston except Belle cause shes awesome and not freaky and emo and stuff while Lefou tries to talk to her.

So let us skip this little part with what's going on in some other Disney movie.

_Scene shows Mufasa on the ground with Simba trying to wake him up._

(NO!)

_Scene shows Bambi with a gunshot in the background._

(NO!)

_Scene shows Marlin is hiding while a shark eats his wife and kids._

(HECK NO!)

_Scene shows a smoking caterpillar._

(...what the freak)

Time's up.

(Aw man, here comes a movie song that has plot development in it)

Lefou: Gosh it disturbs me to see you Gaston. Looking so down in the dumps. Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston.

*cheers*

Same Random Dood: EXCEPT ME! *hiss*

(What's with the hissing? Oh and Max said to me at this part, to say "BOO!". Hm)

Lefou: Even when taking your lumps. There's no man in town as admired by you.

(Pfff)

Lefou: You're everyone's favorite guy.

(Oh, and Max said at this part, "JACK SPARROW IS! NOT YOU!")

Lefou: Everyone's awed and inspired by you. And it's not very hard, *turns Gaston's chair towards him* to see why!

(Ooh mute this part and replace it with this!)

Random Audience: Booo.

Same Random Dood: YEAH!

(Unmute)

Lefou: No, one's slick as Gaston, no one's quick as Gaston. No one's neck is incredibly thick as Gaston's!

(I'm not gonna describe it)

Lefou: For there's no man in town half as manly. Perfect, a pure paragon! You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley. And they'll tell you who's team they'd prefer to be on!

Random Girl Teenagers: EDWARD!

Other Random Girl Teenagers: JACOB!

(OH FREAK!)

Same Random Dood: NO! SPARKLY TWILIGHT REFERENCE! *light glows in eye*

(Why did I add it in there if I think they're too sparkly? I don't even like the movie! _This is my opinion._ Actually, I never would watch it! _This is a fact..and an opinion. So please don't go crazy on me with random swords._)

Random Swords: Aww.

(Sorry)

Lefou and Some Drunk People, or something: No one's been like Gaston, a king-pin like Gaston!

Lefou: No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston!

Gaston: As a specimen yes, I'm intimidating!

Batman: No I am.

Smoking Caterpillar: No I am..*poof*

Scarecrow: NO I AM!

Lex Luthor: No I am! *bald head shines*

Batman: NO, I, AM!

Bald Woman from Before: No I am!

Ursula: No, I am!

Everyone Else: Alright, you win. Yeesh.

Batman: NOW GET OFF THE MOVIE.

(Dumb Batman is right!)

_So we skipped some stuff...that's all._

Gaston: And every last bit of me's covered with hair!

_SKIP IT. SKIP IT._

(AW FREAK!)

Random Audience: Ewwww, Awww.

Same Random Dood: Dood, theres kids here!

_MY EYES! MY EYES!_

(See what you did?)

_I'm fine. I'm fine...ugh._

(Okay then. Let's just skip this part)

_Blah blah. Maurice comes in and says stuff about a 10 foot beast._

(I THINK HE'S 8 FEET TALL!)

Same Random Dood: Me too! I looked at every picture of him online with Belle and he is _not_ 10 feet!

(...every picture?)

_Gaston says stuff about crazy old Maurice after they throw him out in the snow. The end._

Gaston: But that wacky old coot is Belle's father. And his sanity's only so-so. Now the wheels in my head have been turning. Since I looked at that loony old man. See I promised myself I'd be married to Belle, and right now I'm evolving a plan!

Gaston: *whisper whisper*

_Whisper lasts for 2 hours._

Lefou: Ohh, now I get it!

Gaston and Lefou: Let's go!

Lefou: No one plots like Gaston!

Gaston: Take cheap shots like Gaston!

Lefou: Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston!

(Let's skip it this little part, since that sentence just gives away the whole story)

*cool-awesome-swish-time-travel-sound-thingy*

_3 minutes later. Outside the tavern._

Maurice: Will someone help me?

Batman: I will...not.

(BATMAN!)

Batman: What?

* * *

><p>AN: I didn't bother describing it more...And you'd probably noticed this is the shortest chapter...

Anyways, reviews! Please...o-o


	7. Chapter 7: Inside Belle's Room

A/N: Yay! The Beast's castle again!

Okay...then. This one will be boring..kinda. I dunno. It depends on your thoughts.

Read on!

* * *

><p>(Now let us talk about what Max did while Gaston was singing and burning people's eyes)<p>

_REWIND!_

*pewwww*

Max knocks on Belle's door.

(She's crying, and you knock. What's the matta' with you?)

Max: Well, it's nice to knock! *opens door* Belle?

Belle is still sobbing on the bed.

Max: Oookay, this doesn't look like a good time...

Belle: No, it's fine.

Same Random Dood: DON'T CRY BELLE!

Max: Anyways..*sits down on the bed*

Now Belle is quietly crying.

(Wow)

Max: So...how are you?

(Oh freak)

Max: No no no! Don't answer that question! I understand, see. You lost all your freedom and your father in one day.

(And him)

Max: -SO! That happened to me too.

Belle: *sniff* Really?

Max: Actually, I lost my mom in one day, then my father on another, but it's kind of the same thing.

(_What_ he's saying, Belle. Is that it'll turn out alright in the end, you'll see)

Max: Quote?

(Yup)

Belle: I guess so...*trust attribute goes up*

Max: WOO!

(It's for me, dummy)

Max: Aww! So. Umm...

(COMPLIMENT!)

Max: Your hair is nice!

(*groan*)

Belle: Thank you...? But I wondered. Why did you come with me? To be a prisoner?

(Friendship hug!)

Max: Because. One, I was made to protect certain people. Two, your father told me to protect you. And three, I trust you.

(Aladdin moment! Woo! ...okay)

Belle: Me-

Batman: I'm Batman.

(Hey, I'm not sure if it's like the whole Gaston thing, it's probably past it. So, this is a long chapter...Oh, and Belle's trust attributes went up for Max...FORWARDS!)

_FORWARD...S!_

*pewww*

_After what's almost 2 hours (not really) of Max starting off with some caring thing then Belle starts talking about what happened in her book for the remaining minutes while Max is just lying down on the bed listening from time to time, someone knocks on the door._

Belle: And then-

Someone knocks on the door.

Max: *was sleeping* Wha- What?

Belle: Who is it?

Mrs. Potts: Mrs. Potts, dear.

Max: Hooray. *sits up*

(.ha)

Belle stands up and opens the door.

Mrs. Potts: *comes in* Hello, dears. How would you like a nice spot of tea?

(There she goes with the 'spot' again)

Belle: *backs up* But, you're- You're a-

Wardrobe: *appears behind Belle* Yes it is quite stunning the first time.

Belle: *sits down next to Max whose hand is on his face* This is impossible.

Max: Not really.

Belle: Oh really?

Max: I've seen things like this before.

Mrs. Potts: Anyway, have a spot of tea, dear.

(SPIT _SPOT_, CHIP!)

Max: ...peculiar.

Belle: *sits down on the floor in a princessy like way* Thank you. *picks up Chip and begins to drink and stops*

Chip: Wanna see a cool trick? *begins to bubble*

Mrs. Potts: Chip!

Chip: Whoops. Sorry.

Max: *crouches down on the floor like a...regular dude* I think that's pretty cool! I do that with my drink sometimes if I have a straw!

Chip: Cool!

Belle and Mrs. Potts stare at Chip and Max.

(Guess who's looking at who. You got it! The human with the human and the object with the object! Yeah)

Chip and Max: *with an innocent smile* Sorry.

Mrs. Potts: That's a very brave thing you did.

Belle: Didn't seem very brave to me. I mean, I lost my father, I don't think I can ever see him again. *is sad*

Max: Wow, you had to include that?

(Yup. Adds to the randomness)

Mrs. Potts: Cheer up, child. Everything's going to turn out alright in the end. You'll see.

(See?)

Max: Yeah, I see it. Geez.

Wardrobe: Anyway! Let's dress you up for dinner! *opens doors*

Belle puts Chip down and stands up to sit on the bed.

Chip: *leaves with Mrs. Potts* Bye! *door _magically_ closes*

(Max and Chip are good together aren't they?

Belle: They sure are.

Max: What? *stands up*

Wardrobe: *picks out a dress* Ah! Here it is! You'll look gorgeous with this one!

Max: Yeah.

(...)

Belle: *ignoring Max* That's very beautiful, but I'm not going to dinner.

Wardrobe: Not going? But, you must go!

Belle: I'm sorry but-

Cogsworth comes in.

Cogsworth: *ahem*

(Bless you)

Cogsworth: That wasn't a sneeze.

(So?)

Cogsworth: *pauses* Dinner is served.

Max: Hoorah.

* * *

><p>AN: Hoorah indeed.

That's this chapter...I'll probably make more like these stories with Max in it.

Yeah. Anyways, reviews needed! ^-^


	8. Chapter 8: The Beast's Anger Problem

A/N: Yeah. So...I don't know what to say. Except...

Read on! ^-^

* * *

><p>The Beast is pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace. And stuff. Oh, and Lumiere and Mrs. Potts are watching him. It's pretty boring to watch a furry thing walk back and forth.<p>

Beast: Why isn't she here yet?

(Man, I don't know. Well I do know-)

Beast: Where _is_ she then?

(She's in her room. Duh)

Mrs. Potts: Master, please be patient. The poor girl lost all her freedom and her father in one day.

(That's what Max said)

Beast: Oh, it's no use. She's so beautiful and I'm...Well, look at me!

(You look furry)

Mrs. Potts: *ignores* Oh, but you must help her to see past all that.

(Besides being furry)

Beast: *ignores* I don't know how.

Mrs. Potts: Well, you can start by making yourself more presentable. Straighten up. Try to act like a gentleman.

The Beast straightens up.

Lumiere: Ah, yes. When she comes in give her a dashing, debonair smile. Come, come, show me the smile.

The Beast gives a big, forced smile.

(That's awesome)

Same Random Dood: WOO!

Mrs. Potts: But don't frighten the poor girl!

(Unless it's needed like in the 'West Wing' scene!)

Lumiere: Impress her with your rapier wit.

(Like a sword!)

Mrs. Potts: But be gentle.

(Like a prince!)

Lumiere: Shower her with compliments.

(Don't compliment like Max when he's not thinking! And yes, Max could do better)

Mrs. Potts: But be sincere.

(Don't say she's fat! Cause she's not. Ursula is. Ew)

Lumiere: And above all...

(The Rule of Law!)

Mrs. Potts, Lumiere and OT: You must control your temper!

Same Random Dood: BOOM! Nuke.

Cogsworth walks/hops into the room.

Beast: *smile disappears* So, where is she?

Cogsworth: Well, uh-

(Uh)

Cogsworth: You see, um- The girl-

(Yuhuh?)

Cogsworth: She's not coming.

(You know, Max deserves more than this)

_Scene changes to outside of the dinner thing._

Beast: SHE WHAT? *storms off to Belle's room*

(I still think Max should receive more credit)

Peeps come out and run/hop/walk after Beast.

_Scene Change Again! Hoorah._

Beast pounds Belle's door when he arrived there. The others arrived too.

Beast: I thought I told you to come down to dinner!

Belle: I'm not hungry!

Max: I kinda am! But she didn't want to eat, so I don't either!

(You go Max)

Beast: You come out! Or I'll-I'll-I'll break down the door!

Max: How about me?

Beast: *is annoyed* You _both_ come out! Or I'll-I'll-I'll break down the door!

Max: Thank you!

Lumiere: Master, I could be wrong, but that might not be the best way to win the girl's affections.

Cogsworth: Please. _Attempt_ to be a gentleman.

Beast: But, she's being so _difficult!_

(Hmm, I wonder how he thinks about Max?)

Beast: They're both being difficult!

(Thank you. Just a curiosity)

Mrs. Potts: Gently. Gently...

Beast: *more calmly* Will you come down to dinner?

Belle: No!

Max: I'll just leave it to you. *mumbles* Since I'm getting hungrier.

Beast: Hmm? *points to door*

Cogsworth: Ah-ah-ah, suave, genteel.

Beast: *more _suavely_ or so to speak* It will give me great pleasure. *tries to hold anger in and holds cloak* If you both would join me for dinner.

Cogsworth: Ahem. *mutters* We say please.

Beast: *not too _suavely*_ Please.

Belle: No, thank you!

Beast: You can't stay in there forever!

Max: *trying to stop the yelling* She rejected you in a nice, Belley way!

(You did know you just said 'beautyy'? And that doesn't make sense)

Belle: Yes, I can!

Beast: Fine! Then go ahead and _starve!_ *screen rumbles or something* *to the servants* If she doesn't eat with me. She doesn't eat at all. *storms down the hallway again because there's no other simplier word for walking down the hallway in an angry manner*

Lumiere: *yells across the hallway to the Beast* How about the boy?

Beast: He can starve too for all I care! *slams door behind him*

Max: *pause* I heard that!

Mrs. Potts: Oh dear. That didn't go very well at all, did it?

Max: No it didn't! *we hear him walking nearer to the door and whispers* Belle has her arms crossed. That can't be good.

(Arms crossed always mean something cool, or something bad. That's all)

Mrs. Potts: Well, I'd better wash up. *walks/hops away*

(Wow. She just left like nothing happened)

Cogsworth: Right. Lumiere! Stand guard and notify us if something happens to the girl! And the boy! *walks/hops away*

Max: We have names, you know!

Lumiere: Yes, sir! *paces back and forth*

Lumiere stops.

Lumiere: Wait, why aren't you in your room?

Max: Me? Well, I got bored..and, I didn't have anyone to talk to, and Belle was all sad and stuff..And, she was alone too.

Wardrobe: I'm still here, you know!

Max: But you're a freaking wardrobe for crying out loud!

Wardrobe: I was a huma-

(OKAY THAT'S ALL! SKIP SCENE, SKIP SCENE! BELLE WILL NOTICE!)

Belle: Notice what?

Wardrobe: That I'm actually a hu-

Max: SHUT UP.

_Scene Change to Beast being kinda weird and all angry in his room with the freaky portrait of himself as a human. Because everyone knows that a portrait of you doesn't have to have your eyes going all like "BOOM". You know?_

The Beast picks up the magic mirror.

(Oooh, Magic Mirror in the Beast's Hand, who is the fairest one of...this land?)

Magic Mirror: Snow White.

(What? No I said _this_ land!)

Magic Mirror: Oh. Belle. Now byes.

(There ya go. Now you're absolutely sure that she's awesome, Beast)

Beast: *growl*

(Geez)

Beast: Show me the girl.

(I just told you her name and you still say 'HEY, SHOW ME THE GIRL. *GRR*')

Magic Mirror shines and glows with green stuff and shows Snow White.

Beast: What? No! I meant-

(Just show him Belle. OR the _girl_ main character. Since you really like saying 'girl')

The mirror shows Belle and the Wardrobe talking while Max is in between both of them.

Wardrobe: If you just got to know the guy.

Belle: I don't wanna get to know him! *crosses arm*

Max: Whoa.

Belle: I don't want anything to do with him!

Beast: Well, she could be talking about _him._ *points to Max*

(Think again. If Belle was talking about Max, why are they playing patty cake?)

Max and Belle: *are done with the _I don't want anything to do with him_ talk* Patty cake, patty cake. *pause* Patty cake, patty cake. *pause* Patty cake, patty cake. *pause*

Belle: Max, do you even know the whole song?

Max: No. I thought you didn't know.

Belle: I don't even know this game.

Max: Well...let's just try to associate sentences or words.

Belle: Okay. You first.

Max: Temperature change.

Belle: Advection.

Max: Outstanding.

Belle: Salient.

Max: Spontaneous.

Belle: Ultroneous.

Max: Restore.

Belle: Revalorize.

Max:...Let's play another game.

Belle: Why?

Max: Because you're too intelligent.

(Belle really does get into books)

Beast: What am I thinking? She'll see me as nothing, *puts the mirror down* but a monster...

*sad background song plays*

Beast: It's hopeless.

A petal falls from the awesome rose.

(And I'll still see you as furry)

* * *

><p>AN: Me and Max really think the same way...kinda. Anyways, more chapters to come! Reviews please! And they are appreciated!


	9. Chapter 9: Be Our Guest!

A/N: Now, I will actually say something (and something long) ever since Chapter 1. Oh, and this chapter will be _long_.

RandomSilverHeartBox: You don't know how much I appreciate those words. And I will try to write more, quickly! This and other Disney movie parodies with Max!

Max: Yup. I'm also glad you _love_ me.

...anyways.

DisneyPrincess: When I was writing/typing that part, I was thinking how the mirror knew he was talking about Belle too! I guess that's why it's called a _magic_ mirror. O-o And of course Belle will still be with the Beast! As great as Max's loyalty to Belle, his loyalty to the original Disney movies are just as great.

Max: Yup. I will never alter the original storyline. But I _would_ try to be with Belle if she was...and you know...if the Beast wasn't there...

...You know how freaked out Belle would be if she heard you say that?

Max: ...Yeah, I should keep it to myself.

Too late. We _all_ know your little secret. Now read on!

Max: Darn it.

* * *

><p>So then, minutes pass and stuff...and we find Lumiere and Featherduster-<p>

(Wait, HOLD THE STORY. It says here she has a name. *reads* _In Beauty and the Beast, she is credited as "featherduster", in the musical, she is called Babette; and in Belle's Magical World, she is called Fifi._Then what the freak are we gonna use?)

I don't know. I'm just the one to tell them what they're doing and stuff. You're the author.

(Well, in Belle's Magical World _which had horrible animation_, she actually thought Belle was Lumiere's new girlfriend. So that's stupid. Take that out)

Why don't you just use "featherduster" since it's used in the original movie?

(Alright. It makes sense. Besides, we were using it before anyways. Go on)

Kays.

Meanwhile, Lumiere and Featherduster were...talking, or something behind a curtain. Stuff happens.

Featherduster: I've been burnt by you before!

(Ow)

Belle comes out of her room followed by Max.

Max: This is great! Really great! Now what?

Belle: Just follow me.

Max: Do you even know where you're going?

Belle: I could _guess_.

(Oooh. I made myself a foreshadowing! Cause, guess, and _guest_, you know)

Max: All your jokes are weird.

(Yours too!)

Max: Is not!

(Is too!)

Max: Is not!

Belle: QUIET! They might hear us!

*awkward moment of silence*

Belle: Thank you.

Lumiere of course noticed them walking down the hallway (and talking quite loudly) and dropped Featherduster.

Lumiere: Zut alors! She and he has emerged! *runs off*

(Thank you for leaving the Featherduster. She gladly appreciates your goodbye)

_Scene Change to the Kitchen Thing._

The author forgot what lines were Mrs. Potts and Cogsworth's in this part so here's just what happened.

Mrs. Potts and Cogsworth are talking about Belle and the Beast and how his attitude is freaky (well not exactly that).

Stove: Look at all this! All the food gone to waste!

(Okay, so that's not the exact lines of the movie, but it's close. I think. Fine, from now on, I'll do whatever I think they were saying)

Isn't that what you've been doing all this time?

(...shut up)

*pause for about like almost 2 minutes*

_Almost 2 minutes later._

(Oh, was I supposed to put something there? My bad. Just say whatever they're talking about)

Mrs. Potts says something to the Stove, OT probably forgot and can't find online.

(True)

Something about the Beast's anger problem, and spells or something.

Oh, and Belle and Max come in. Mrs. Potts and Cogsworth immediately stop their conversation.

Max: We're here. Now do whatever you're supposed to do. *leans against the wall*

Lumiere enters the kitchen.

Cogsworth: Let me introduce myself. I, am-

Lumiere: Allow me to introduce myself! I am Lumiere, that's Cogsworth and Mrs. Potts! *holds Belle's hand and kisses hand*

Max: How's the wax?

*badum tsh*

(I don't get that joke)

Max: Me neither.

Cogsworth says something about something.

Lumiere: May we help you madame?

Belle: Well, I am a little hungry.

Max: Little?

Mrs. Potts: You hear that? She's hungry! Fire up the stove, and wake the china.

Max: You forgot the other one.

(I know)

Cogsworth: Remember what the master said.

Max: The part where he said to let us starve to death then he 'grred'?

Batman: *hiss*

(Leave)

Batman: Batman, away! *jumps out some pretend window*

Max: Pretend?

(He hit his head on the wall. He'll be fine)

Mrs. Potts: Don't be ridiculous. I'm not gonna let the poor children starve.

Max: Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Belle's not a child! Neither am I! I mean, what part of me makes you think I'm a child- *trips*

Max falls into some random frying pans or something and hopelessly tries to pull himself up on the table. Everyone stares at him.

Max: *finally gets up* Okay. Whoa.

Belle: Max! Are you alright?

Max: Yeah, I'm fine. My freaking boo-boo hurts...but I'll be fine. *holds knee* Let's just go to the dining room.

Belle walks out of the room and Max is limping. Oh, and if you imagined that as a simple trip. It's way more than that. He kinda, fell down, bumped into some things, mostly his knee, or you could just say he freaking fell down and pain entered him.

Lumiere: But what is dinner without a little, music? *walks out of the kitchen and the door hits Cogsworth*

Cogsworth: Music? *lands in green Jell-O*

(Time really does fly)

*badum tsh*

_Scene Change to Lumiere on the long freaking table. No but really. It's freaking long._

Music swells up.

(Ooh! I think I feel a song coming up!)

Max: Quote. Can you guess which Disney movie it was from?

Lumiere: Ma chère, mademoiselle. It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now, we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair...

A chair comes up and Belle sits.

Max: I will stand up because Belle has a very nice view of the very long table. And I probably won't if I sit on the side.

(So? You could still sit though)

Max: Darn it. Oh well, I'll still stand up because the back of Belle's hair looks very nice from this view.

(...just stand beside her)

Max: Fine.*stands beside her*

Oh, and by the way, Belle heard him and had a kind of a 'what the heck' look on her face.

Lumiere: *continues since Max cut him off* As the dining room proudly presents...your dinner.

Spotlight!

Random Audience: *applause*

Other Random Dood: Woo!

Same Random Dood (that we know): HEY! THAT'S MY LINE. *tackles*

Stuff is happening. They're fighting. And eventually, Same Random Dood wins.

Same Random Dood: WOOO!

(Okay...)

Belle has a happy, nicey, joyfy-

Max: Joyfy?

(It rhymes)

Belle has a happy, nicey, joyfy, look on her face. Oh, and Max has some look on his face.

Max: Hey!

Lumiere: Be, our, guest! Be our guest! Put our service to the test! Tie your napkin round your neck, cherie and we provide the rest.

The chair tried to wrap a napkin around Belle's neck but Belle takes it off and puts it on her lap in a princessy like way. The chair puts its arms on its supposed waist.

Chair: What the freak is your problem, woman?

Music stops awkwardly.

Belle: Nothing.

Chair: Oh really? You just took off the freaking napkin I was trying to help you with!

Max: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What is _your_ problem? She is the main character in this story. She _deserves_ more respect than that.

Chair: Pff! If she's sitting on me, then she would respect _me_ for having something to actually sit on!

Max: Yeah, but you're just furniture.

Random Audience: OOOHHH!

Same Random Dood: FAIL!

Max: That's your job. So can we just get on with the song? I mean, Belle already won before this argument soo...

Same Random Dood: BESIDES. SHE'S HOT.

(Oh my grod)

Belle ignored everything. But she still heard the whole thing, especially the last part. And right now she has the 'what the frick is happening, can we just get on with the musical number?' face on.

Music swells up again awkwardly and Lumiere sings again like nothing happened.

Lumiere: Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres.

(I've never tasted that, but it looks pretty _good_)

Lumiere: Why we only live to serve!

Max: What kind of life is that?

(_Serve_ants)

Max: ...nevermind.

(Oh yeah)

Lumiere: Try the gray stuff, it's delicious. Don't believe me? Ask the dishes!

Belle dips her finger in the gray stuff and tastes it with a satisfied look on her face. The dish _magically_ hops away or something.

Max: *leans over the table trying to get some gray stuff from the leaving dish* No-no-no-no no, WAIT! Aw freak. *stands up again*

Lumiere: They can sing, they can dance. After all, miss, this is France! And dinner here is never second best! Go on unfold your menu!

Lumiere gives Belle and Max a menu which they both begin to read.

(Why is there a menu? I thought this is a private castle)

Lumiere: Take a glance and then you'll be our guest, be our guest, be our guest!

Lumiere takes back the menus.

Max: Wait! Wait!

Lumiere: *song stops and he groans* Now what Max?

Max: I didn't find what I wanted in there.

Lumiere: What did you want, Max?

Max: I wanted Orange Chicken, but I uh, didn't find anything in there. Just some French stuff.

(Max...)

Max: Cause I feel like Orange Chicken tonight, you know?

(Max...)

Max: The sauce is so good-

(MAX! Just get whatever Belle's getting, and that's absolutely _nothing)_

Max: Fine. Whatever Belle's getting I'm getting. Cause I just know she has the awesomest one.

Belle: Max, I didn't order anything. They're going to give it to me.

Max: *sigh* You're still cool.

(Okay, so Belle ate in the movie, but we have no idea when. But I have an idea)

A cabinet at the end of the long table opens up and reveals a China collection. It _magically_ starts dancing...or something.

Lumiere: Beef ragout, cheese souffle, pie and pudding en flambe! We'll prepare and serve with flair, a culinary cabaret!

Dishes of food _magically_ go by Belle as she dips her finger and tastes each one. Max dips his finger in all of them too.

Max: YES! I got some food! ...aw freak. It was just a taste.

(It's like all of the food they have here is like pudding...)

Lumiere sets a pie on fire and it explodes.

Same Random Dood: BOOM. Nuke.

Cogsworth comes out and his face is black. And Belle is like 'whoaaa'.

Random Audience: Whoaaaaa.

Lumiere: You're alone and you're scared, but the banquet's all prepared!

Max: Hey! I'm here!

Lumiere: No one's gloomy or complaining, while the flatware's entertaining!

Oh, and some spoons dive into some bowl or something.

Lumiere: We tell jokes, I do tricks! With my fellow candlesticks!

Mugs: And it's all in perfect taste that you can bet!

The mugs start passing some drinks or something from one to another.

Lumiere and Every Dining...Thing: Come on and lift your glass, you've won your own free pass! To be our guest, be our guest, be our guest!

Lumiere: If you're stressed, it's fine dining we suggest!

Every Dining Thing: Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest!

Everything goes dark except for a spotlight on Cogsworth with salt shaking on him.

Lumiere: Life is so unnerving, for a servant who's not serving. He's not whole without a soul to wait upon.

Cogsworth groans.

Max: *yawn* This is nice...I think.

Belle: From my view, you're actually bored.

Max: You spend _way_ too much time with me, Belle.

Belle: Why? Is that bad?

Max: Nope. Now if you'll excuse me. I'm gonna- *yawn* Yeah.

Lumiere: *skipped 3 lines* Needing so much more than dusting. *holds Cogsworth's supposed 'leg'* Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills!

Cogsworth flies into the Jell-O again. Oh, and there's a spoon.

Lumiere: Most days we just lay around the castle. Flabby, fat and lazy, you walked in and oops-a-daisy! *jumps on the spoon and Cogsworth flies*

(Time does fly)

Max: You said that 2 times already.

(Sorry)

_Scene Change to Mrs. Potts in some unknown place that's like a sink..or something. I dunno. I'm not the producer of the movie._

(This is when Max and Belle are now eating whatever they're eating. Clever, huh? They kind of ate pretty fast though...)

Mrs. Potts: It's a guest! It's a guest! Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed! Wine's been poured and thank the Lord I've had the napkins freshly pressed!

(Whoa, wine...)

Mrs. Potts: With dessert, they'll want tea. And my dear, that's fine with me. While the cups do their soft-shoein', I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing. I'll get warm, piping hot. Heaven's sake, is that a spot? Clean it up, we want the company impressed!

Every Dining Thing: We've got a lot to do!

Mrs. Potts: Is it one lump or two? For you, our guest!

_Scene Change to Chip getting picked up Belle_.

Max: I PICK TWO!

(Of course you pick two, you're so sweet)

Max: What the-

(I'm joking. Geez...you're wishing it was Belle who said that aren't you?)

Max: *is wishing Belle would've said that* Of course not.

Every Dining Thing: Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest!

Be our guest! Be our guest! Our command is your request! It's been years since we've had anybody here, and we're obsessed!

(Okay)

Every Dining Thing: With your meal, with your ease. Yes, indeed we aim to please. While the candlelight's still glowing, let us help you, we'll keep going!

Lumiere and Every Dining Thing: Course by course! One by one! Till you shout, "Enough I'm Done!"

Belle gasps at the cool looking glowing thing.

Max: Enough, I'm done! Ha! Now you can't give us anything else!

Every Dining Thing: Tonight you'll prop your feet up, but for now let's eat up, (Max: *in the background* WE ALREADY ATE!) be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Please, Be Our Guest!

Cool stuff comes out like corks and random fireworks-

Random Fireworks and Corks: WEEEE!

Plates are _magically_ dancing. Cogsworth is dancing peculiarly until Lumiere comes in and Cogsworth flies out again.

(Instead of 'odd', in this story we use 'peculiar'. Why? Because it appears all the time in this movie. Well, not really. But yeah)

Belle: *claps hands* That was wonderful!

Max: Very wonderful. Very, _very_ wonderful. Dancing dishware is _so_ wonderful. *leans on the table*

Cogsworth: We're all very tired from this long day. Off to bed, off to bed.

(If you think about it, it really is a long day...)

Belle: Oh, I can't possibly go to bed now! It's my first time in an enchanted castle.

Max: It's actually mine too. Everything else is just a fairy godmother, fairies, lions...

Cogsworth: Enchanted? Hehe haha! Who said anything about the castle being enchanted? Hahaha... *to Lumiere* It was you, wasn't it?

Lumiere: Of course not!

Cogsworth: Was too!

Belle: Um. I figured it out for myself, actually.

Max: Really? What made it possible for you to figure it out, for yourself?

Belle: Dancing silverware?

Max: Typical.

Belle: Dancing dishes?

Max: Nuance.

Belle: A talking clock?

Max: Fat too, I might say.

Cogsworth: What?

Belle: A walking candelabra?

Max: Very natural.

Belle: A hopping teacup?

Max: That happened to me. Though there was a mouse in it. Goes by the name, Gus. Very nice mouse.

Belle: Anyway. I'd like to go look around.

Cogsworth: Certainly not!

Belle: Oh, please? You could tag along! You must know everything there is to know about this place.

Belle smiles innocently at him.

Max: Just give her what she wants, Cogsworth. She's smiling innocently at you. What do you think? She's gonna get into trouble and find herself surrounded by wolves? Pff, like I'd let that happen.

(Well you have to let that happen anyway)

Max: Yeah- Wait, what?

Cogsworth: Well, yes, of course.

Same Random Dood that obviously likes Belle: Alright then. If you said no, I swear I would've ripped your little clock off your body and throw it out in the window to freeze. Then I would marry Belle.

Max: If you did that, there wouldn't be a monkey servant around here. And I would not let you marry Belle.

Cogsworth: Excuse me?

Same Random Dood: Why?

Max: Because. Belle, tell me your favorite part about your book.

Belle: In chapter 3 where the she finds out it's the Prince! Because it's absolutely romantic. *doesn't know where this is going*

Max: Dood, what was Belle's favorite part?

Same Random Dood: *is reading a magazine called 'BOOM. Nuked you.'* What? Oh, um...its on a page. I know that.

Max: You cannot be Belle's husband.

Same Random Dood: Why?

Max: Because 1, you didn't listen to her. 2, you're reading some fake magazine, and 3, you're just stupid.

Same Random Dood: I am not stupid! And I can be her husband!

Max: Can you afford a huge library?

Same Random Dood: No.

Max: Then Belle will die of boredom inside your home unless I'm there.

Same Random Dood: Why is it if you're there?

Max: Because _she,_ likes me! Don't you, Belle?

Belle: Yes. But not in _that_ way.

Max: *mutters* I thought that would make her say it without knowing. *more loudly* Anyways, let's go around the castle, shall we?

(You would get every princess if you can, wouldn't you?)

Max: Maybe.

Same Random Dood: WAIT! Belle, can you kiss me?

Max: HECK NO. *is now in overprotective Disney mode*

* * *

><p>AN: ...yup. Anyways. Please review! It makes me squeal out loud. Really though.

Same Random Dood will never have a chance at Disney girls...maybe at some other random Doodette but you know...

Max's protective side has shown. Whoaaaaa. Till next time! And thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10: That Scene When Stuff Happen

A/N: Hoorays! 10th chapter! ...Okay, that's all.

Read on!

* * *

><p><em>Scene Change to Cogsworth talking, Lumiere, Sultan, Belle and Max walking down a hallway.<em>

(And if you haven't noticed. Max just likes getting complimented by people)

Max: What?

Cogsworth: As you can see, the pseudo facade was stripped away to reveal a minimalist rococo design. Note the unusual inverted vaulted ceilings.

The suits of armor on the sides of the hallway turn to look at Belle. So, I'm not sure what's on their minds at this time. It's either they never seen a girl in years, they think she looks nice (well, pretty, I guess. I dunno), or her hair is nice. Probably her hair is nice.

Cogsworth: This is yet another example of the neo-classic baroque period, and as I always say, if it's not baroque, don't fix it! Hahaha. Now, where was I?

(I have no idea what that joke means)

Max: Cogs, looksy. *points at the suit of armors*

Cogsworth: As you were!

The suits of armor's heads turn back.

Cogsworth: Now, if I may draw your attention to the flying buttresses above the- Mademoiselle?

(What the freak are buttresses? *Googles* Oh...can't they name it something else? Cause it's kinda...odd)

Belle is about to walk up the stairway of _darkness_. Well not darkness. But it is _dark._

(Kinda)

Batman: Like me.

(Why do you always appear?)

Batman: Cause I'm working on my grr. *hissss* See? Isn't that good?

(LEAVE)

Batman leaves again.

Max is on the first step of the staircase. Cogsworth, Lumiere and Sultan hurries to stop Belle in her tracks.

Belle: What's up there?

Max: A rose.

Lumiere and Cogsworth glare at him.

Max: Am I right? Hey, I guessed.

Cogsworth: There is absolutely nothing in the West Wing. Dull, boring, very dusty.

(That's actually true)

Belle: So that's the West Wing? *stupid curiosity bursts open, well I'm not calling her stupid, I'm calling curiosity stupid*

(Like what happened in Alice in Wonderland. You just had to follow a freaking talking rabbit with a suit on. Who the heck does that?)

Max: She does.

Lumiere: Nice going.

Belle: I wonder what he's hiding in there.

Max: Probably his miserable life covered in dust. *walks up more steps*

Cogsworth: Hiding? The master is hiding nothing in there.

Belle: Then it wouldn't be forbidden. *walks up more steps. Max follows*

Cogsworth and Lumiere stop Belle again. Oh, and Sultan is there too.

Lumiere: Perhaps you would like to see, the walls!

Cogsworth: Or the garden.

(The garden is nice)

Lumiere: The fountain outside _in_ the garden!

Cogsworth: The jail-like room you lost your father!

Max: Really? I wanna go there again! *imitates Belle* Oh that would be wonderful. I love to see places where I cried and thought I lost my whole life! And my father's miserable scent is there too! He was so sick, I thought I would die of happiness! *Voice returns to regular Max mode* It would be stupid to go in there again.

Belle stared at him for a moment and started walking up the stairs again.

Lumiere: Um, the...the...the library!

Belle: The library? You have a library?

Max: I told you, you had to afford a huge library.

Same Random Dood: I could do that! I'll work! ...nevermind.

(Yeah)

Lumiere: Yes, yes! There are hundreds of books!

Cogsworth: Scads of books!

Lumiere: Mountains!

Cogsworth: Piles!

Lumiere, Cogsworth and Sultan are being all happy and saying how many books there are and blah blah. Belle continues to follow them but stops, and walks up the staircase to...THE BEAST'S ROOM. *thunder rolls*

Lightning: Why do you always come after me?

Thunder: That's how I roll!

*badum tsh*

(I'm sorry. I had to include that in there...Besides, it's not even raining right now. It's snowing)

Max follows Belle like she's the white rabbit.

Max: Actually, I'm a ghost, and Belle's Alice. And the West Wing is the white rabbit.

Same Random Dood: BOOM. Nuke.

Max and Belle are walking down a dark hallway with creepy gargoyles...again. Geez, how many gargoyles does he have?

Belle stops at a big door.

Max: Descriptive.

(That's how I roll)

Max: Are you sure we should be doing this?

Belle: Not really...but it's just this feeling I have.

Max: Stupid curiosity. Getting people into trouble since the dawn of time.

Belle opens the door and enters the Beast's room. Max follows.

Belle is looking around cautiously and almost knocks over a table but catches it just in time.

Bert: Step in time!

Chimney Sweepers: Step in time, step in time, step in time, step in time! Never need a reason, never need a rhyme! Just step in time!

(WHOA WHOA! IT SAID 'just in time' NOT 'step in time')

Mary Poppins: That's why I should always be with you to correct you, Bert. Come along now. I apologize for intruding.

(That's fine. You're awesome anyway. With your awesome British accent and your part in Sound of Music. SHE COULD JUGGLE, FLY _and_ SING!)

Max: Okay.

Belle didn't know what was happening but she was just looking around. Belle finds a torn picture of Prince Adam. *whispers* But she doesn't know it's him.

Max: They had to put so much emphasis in the eyes.

She starts to put a part of the picture up to complete it but a red glow from some cool looking rose catches her eye.

Max: Ew.

(Figure of speech)

Belle removes the glass dome and almost touches the Rose.

(Yeah, the Rose is so awesome and an important part of the story, I just had to give it a name. Rose)

But the Beast comes in and quickly puts the glass dome back on. Belle backs up. Max, for some reason is now in front of Belle.

Beast: Why did you both come here?

Belle: I'm- I'm sorry!

Beast: I told you never to come here!

Max: So that means I can stay?

Beast: Do you realize what you could have done? *pushes tables and, stuff*

Max: Hey! You told Belle to never go in the West Wing! Not me!

Beast: I was referring to you too!

Max: Stop screaming! You're scaring the random objects scattered around here!

Random Objects Scattered Around Here: *shivers*

Beast: Get out!

Max: He's getting all Godzilla on us! Run!

Beast: GET OUT!

Beast looks at them running away. Annnnd-

Beast: *facepalm*

(Oh yeah)

Batman: *grr*

(You got it! You actually got it, Batman! Oh, I just ruined the moment)

Belle hurries to get out with Max behind her.

Belle grabs her cloak and runs to the door to get out.

Lumiere: Mademoiselle! Where are you going?

Belle: Promise or no promise. I can't stay here any longer!

Lumiere: We did that musical number for nothing?

(You did)

Max: Wait! Belle!

Belle is already on Philippe (who is coincidentally outside the gate, still) and leaves Max because of her sudden fearness. Belle is riding through the random dark and sees the random wolves again.

Wolf 1: Man, we have to chase her?

Wolf 2: But she looks innocent!

Wolf 3: We're doing it for the horse!

Wolf 4: Yeah!

Wolf 1: Really?

Wolf 4: Nope, we're chasing them for both of them!

(And if you didn't notice, Wolf 3 and 4 are regular wolves. The other 2 are nice, but are doing it for the movie)

The wolves and some other random wolves chase Belle and Philippe. Belle goes the other way and makes Philippe ram the wolves into the trees.

(That is freaking awesome right there)

They go on a frozen lake-pond or something and Belle and Philippe's weight makes them collapse into the cold water.

(They must be freaking cold right now)

Same Random Dood: I'LL GET MARY POPPINS FOR YOU, BELLE!

(Whoops, she's on her cloud)

Same Random: DARN IT.

Other wolves are having a hard time swimming or something, and Philippe gets out of the water. They continue to gallop through the woods until they both get surrounded by wolves and Philippe throws Belle off him. The...

(Reins)

The reins wrap around a tree _magically._ See, this is a real _magical_ Disney movie right here. Philippe kicks some of the wolves and Belle gets a stick and hits air.

(What do you expect? Her to go all Mulan on them? Too bad. She reads books, but not martial arts books)

Oh, and her hair tie is off.

Same Random Dood: SHE LOOKS NICE.

(Oookay, then)

Wolf 4 bites the stick Belle has and breaks it.

Wolf 1: Dude, what's your problem?

Wolf 2: Let's bail. I don't wanna see something bad happen to the girl. *runs off*

Wolf 1: Aiight. *runs off*

Wolf 3 grabs the corner of Belle's cloak and Belle is hopelessly trying to get him off.

(You know how much sympathy I give to Belle everytime I watch this part? I just wish I was there and go like "FREAK OFF." Then I go all Superman, or Supergirl on the wolves. Yeah, I didn't say Batman. I said Superman. Lasers will come out of my eyes then me and Belle will be friends! YAY. Oh wait, we're already friends...)

Belle looks up (I forgot to mention she's on the ground...yeah) and sees a wolf about to pounce on her. The Beast arrived and caught the wolf in mid-air! Now let us see an overview of what happened in the castle while Belle was helpless and stuff.

_Okay, so Max was left. The Beast came down and grred even more. Lumiere and Max told the Beast that Belle left. Max said stuff about danger being out there, and Beast showed his nice side and went out to get Belle. The End._

So the Beast roared at the wolf he caught and threw it. The Beast was in front of Belle protecting her. The Beast started fighting all the wolves and Belle is like 'whoaaa'.

Random Audience: Whoaaa.

The Beast fought them all, wolves bit him and stuff, Stitch was in there.

(But I made him go back to Hawaii so he's fine now)

The Beast threw a wolf at a tree and every wolf ran away frightened. The Beast looked at Belle for a moment and collapsed. Belle begins to go on Philippe, but her nice princessy way opened and she put Beast on Philippe somehow. I think Philippe helped. Yeah. So then Belle is walking back to the castle with Beast on Philippe.

Philippe: *thinking* _This is torture._

(Well, the Beast does look heavy)

While Belle was walking back to the castle, Max was there looking for them, and walked back to the castle with them.

Max: I just had to walk out when I knew you were coming back.

(That was dumb)

Max: Shhh.

_Scene Change to Belle taking care of the Beast...in the castle. Duh._

Belle is pouring hot water from Mrs. Potts into some random bowl.

Random Bowl: Ahh, spa..

Belle soaks some towel thing into the bowl and sees the Beast licking his wounds.

Max: *is sitting down on the floor* What are you doing?

Belle: Don't do that.

(So right)

The Beast growls.

Belle: Now, this might hurt a bit.

The Beast is like 'what?' then while Belle is trying to put the towel thingy to his arm, Beast is refusing to let her wash his wounds.

(I don't understand how washing your wounds help anything)

Max: Probably to wash the blood off.

(Yeah, but that's all. There's no antibiotics or something)

Belle: *trying to wash Beast's wounds* Just. Hold. Still.

The towel thingy touches the wound and screaming happens.

Beast: Aaargh! That hurts!

Belle: If you'd hold still, it wouldn't hurt as much!

Max: She's right.

Beast: Well, if you hadn't run away, this wouldn't have happened.

Belle: If you hadn't frightened me, I wouldn't have run away!

Max: She's right. You went all King Kong and Godzilla on us that time.

Beast: Well _you_ shouldn't have been in the West Wing!

Belle: Well _you_ should learn to control your temper!

Beast opens his mouth to say something but can't think of anything clever.

Max: You just got owned by a girl.

The Beast glares at Max.

Belle: Now hold still. This might sting a little.

Max: Just close your eyes and think of Belle. *Belle looks at him* What?

Belle puts the towel thingy to the Beast's wound. Beast growls a little in pain.

Belle: By the way. Thank you, for saving my life.

Beast: You're welcome.

Max: Yay! Everyone is all happy again! Now who wants to sing?

Belle smiles at him and the Beast is like 'what?' in a good way. Not a bad way. Because Beast _likes_ Belle.

Random Audience: Oooooo.

Same Random Dood: It's so beautiful. *sniff*

(I thought you wanted to marry Belle?)

Same Random Dood: I noticed..*sniff* That she would be way happier with the Beast then with me. *sniff*

Max, OT, Lumiere, Cogsworth, Chip, And Mrs. Potts: So true.

Sultan: *woof in an agreeable way*

* * *

><p>AN: The End...that's the end with this chapter! Pff, you think I would end this story on this chapter? You be crazzzzyyyyy. Next chapter issss "Something There". WOO!

Okays then. Please, please, please review! And Thanks for reading! Here's another short thingamabob.

Max (Original Human): Why did I name my horse Max?

Max (Original Horse): *whinnys in confusion*

Max (Dog In _The Little Mermaid_): *woof*

Maximus (Horse in _Tangled_): *would facepalm but just neighed*

(Hehe, I made him have that idea to make confusion. ^-^)


	11. Chapter 11: Something There Is Random

A/N: Before we read on, here's a bit of a background with Max. Because I think you people don't really have an idea of the whole background. But if you don't care, I'll still type it down. :P

Max, is supposed to be like us. Regular humans that watch Disney movies. Although here, I'm the one that talks to Max, it's supposed to be Jiminy Cricket...in my mind. Since this is the first story I ever did with Max, he's been through other Disney movies already. Now I'm getting bored. The first Disney movie Max ever went through in animated version was Cinderella. The movies Max go through is sorted by time it was released. The End. Now read on! Oh, and I made my mind. My next parody Disney story with Max is going to be _Tangled._ BOOYAH.

* * *

><p><em>Scene change to Gaston's Tavern in some dark place...or something.<em>

(Aw, man. It's Gaston..but I have to include this since it's a major part in the movie)

Monsieur D'Arque: I don't usually leave the asylum in the middle of the night, but he said you'd make it worth my while.

Gaston throws the old ugly freaky man a bag of coins.

(*snigger* Coins. It's like if you compare this time to present time, those are just nickels or pennies)

Monsieur D'Arque (AKA Freaky old ugly man): Ah, I'm listening. *grabs a coin and...spins it or something*

Gaston: It's like this. I've got my heart set on marrying Belle, but she needs a little...persuasion.

Lefou: *laughs* Turned him down flat.

(AHHAHAA)

Same Random Dood: BURN!

Gaston hits Lefou.

Gaston: Everyone knows her father's a lunatic. He was in here tonight, raving about a beast in a castle.

(More like a dumb beast in a stupid tavern asking some old freaky ugly man to do stuff for him that he can't do himself)

Same Random Dood: BURN!

Gaston: Shut up!

(What are you gonna do? Fall off a castle? I wanna see that happen)

Same Random Dood That's Teaming Up With OT: BURN! *high fives OT*

Monsieur D'Arque: Anyway...Maurice is harmless.

Gaston: The point is, Belle would do _anything_ to keep him from being locked up.

Lefou: Yeah, even marry _him._

Same Random Dood: BURN!

(So many burns)

Lefou ducks when Gaston was about to hit him.

Monsieur D'Arque: So you want me to throw her father into the asylum unless she agrees to marry you...

Gaston and Lefou nod.

Monsieur D'Arque: Oh, that is despicable. *chuckles* I love it!

(Wait, I just noticed. How did they know D'Arque was his name? Peculiar...oh, and Gaston's still a worthless, vain, stupid face)

Same Random Dood: BOOM. Nuke.

_Scene change to Belle's Cottage Home Thingy._

We see Maurice packing to get Belle.

Maurice: If no one will help me, then I'll go back alone. I don't care what it takes. I'll find that castle and somehow I'll get her out of there.

Maurice leaves on his journey to a place he doesn't even exactly know where it is.

(I know)

Gaston arrives _after_ Maurice left. That's a coincidence.

Gaston: Belle! Maurice!

Lefou: Oh, well, I guess it's not gonna work after all. *gets grabbed by the collar by Gaston*

Gaston walks out the cottage.

Gaston: They have to come back sometime, and when they do, we'll be ready for them. *drops Lefou in a spot by the porch* Lefou, don't move from that spot until Belle and her father come home.

Lefou: But, but... aww, nuts!

(NOTHING HIT HIM)

*bomb whistle*

A rubber ducky hits Lefou's head.

(Oh yeah. That's how we roll)

_Scene Change to Belle, Max, Philippe and Sultan out in the snow playing._

Lumiere, Beast, and Cogsworth are on a balcony stalking them- I mean watching them.

So Belle hugs Philippe, Philippe (kinda) hugs her, Sultan glomps Max and put him in a pile of snow, Sultan went to Belle, and Belle hugged him. The end.

Beast: *touches bandaged wound* I've never felt this way about anyone before. I want to do something for her...but what?

Cogsworth: Well, there's the usual things. Flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep.

(Servant monkey)

Lumiere: Ah, no. It has to be something very special. Something that will spark her interest. Wait a minute, I know!

Batman: How bout a batarang? It's good for hitting people in the face and almost killing them but not killing them. Cause I would never kill. You know, anyone.

(*facepalm*)

Max: *in the background* AGH, I got hit in the face by a snowball thrown by a girl.

Batman: Weenie. Now if you excuse me, I'll go practice my hiss. *grr*

(YOU JUST- nevermind)

_Scene Change to the hallway leading to the Library._

Beast: Belle, there's something I want to show you.*opens the door but stops* But first, you have to close your eyes.

Belle looks at him curiously.

(Belle: She's judging you. Okay so its a picture I found)

Beast: It's a surprise.

(Oh, and Max is somewhere playing with Chip. If you're wondering)

Belle closes her eyes. And the Beast looks like a kid waving his hand in front of a person so he could steal a lollipop. Beast opens the door and holds Belle's hand to let her in.

Belle: Can I open my eyes yet?

(You just walked 2 feet, of course I want you to open your eyes since we're not in there yet)

Beast: No. Not yet.

Beast rushes to pull the curtains open. Belle is all super duper because light went in the room. WHOA. Light.

Belle: Can I open them now?

Beast: Alright. Now.

Belle opens her eyes to see a very nice library that's nice. She gasps and looks around.

(It is a very nice library, though)

Belle: I can't believe it! I have never seen so many books in my entire life!

Beast: You- you like it?

Belle: Oh, it's wonderful!

Beast: Then it's yours.

Belle: Thank you!

(Whoops, it's not really _yours_. It's the Beast's library, that he said you could borrow)

*awkward moment of silence*

(Just joking, it's yours)

Cogsworth, Lumiere, Mrs. Potts, Featherduster, Max and Chip were stalking them- darn it, I mean watching them.

(Okay, so Max and Chip were actually watching them)

Cogsworth: Would you look at that?

Max: I already did.

Lumiere: I knew it would work!

Chip: What? What works?

(When I was way younger, I was wondering what the heck works too. I was like "WHAT THE FREAK? WHAT'S THERE?" at the end of the movie)

Cogsworth: It's a very nice sight to see.

Chip: I didn't see anything!

Mrs. Potts: Come along, Chip. There's chores to be done in the kitchen.

Chip: But what are they talking about? What's happening? Max, do you know?

Max: To be honest, I don't really know.

Cogsworth and Lumiere look at him.

Max: *looks at Belle and the Beast again* Oh.

(Little note: Cogsworth and Lumiere and the others don't know Max already knows about the Rose and spell and stuff. Max is just pretending he thinks they want some furry thing and a girl to be together. Yup)

_Scene Change to Belle, Max and Beast eating...at some time. I dunno if it's Lunch or Breakfast. So...yeah._

Belle is on the right side of the table, Beast is on the other, and Max is in the middle. Yes, I said _in the middle_. Maxolm in the middle. I don't even watch that TV show. I just thought about it.

(So you think Max is intruding? He is _not_. He's just hungry)

So they're eating, whatever they're eating. Let's just call it chowder. Belle and Max begin to eat but they see Beast eating like a...well, beast. Belle tries to ignore but Max and Chip are laughing.

(They really do fit together)

Mrs. Potts gives both of them the look and they stop laughing. Chip pushes a spoon to the Beast. Belle watches Beast as he tries to use it but fails.

Same Random Dood: FAIL.

Belle puts her spoon down on the side.

(She better not use it again, unless they clean the table like a million times)

Belle holds her bowl up and Beast does the same. Max smiles and just eats with a spoon.

(He really is unique)

Meanwhile, Batman is eating popcorn.

(Supreme randomness)

_Scene Change to Beast watching Belle feed birds and Max just sitting on the snow stalking-DARN IT, I mean watching them._

(Well it does seem like stalking if you think about it)

Max: Shuuuutt uuuuppp.

Music Swells up. Even though it started on the scene change. So, Ha. Ha.

(Go music!)

Belle: *sings* There's something sweet, and almost kind. But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined! But now he's dear, and so, unsure. I wonder why I didn't see it there before.

*music stuff*

Belle gives Beast some bird feed where he fails.

Same Random Dood: FAIL.

Max whistles and Beast and Belle look at him. Max has a bird on his finger and on his head. Belle smiles but Beast frowns.

Beast: *thinking* _Show off._

Max: *think talking* _What can I say? Animals like me for some reason._

(That's true...and freaky)

Batman: Bats like me. Cause you know, I'm BATman.

(Shuttup)

Belle takes a handful of bird feed and trails it to Beast's hand. A bird comes up to his hand and Beast is like "OH SHOOT. LOOK AT THIS BELLE, LOOK AT THIS."

Beast: She glanced this way. I thought I saw. And when we touched she didn't shudder at my paw! No it can't be, I'll just ignore. But then she's never looked at me that way before.

Belle is now covering behind a tree, think singing to herself. Max is looking at her like "What are you doing?" with his mouth slightly open.

Belle: New, and a bit alarming. Who'd have ever thought that this, could be. *looks over to see Beast covered in birds* True, that he's no Prince Charming.

(Oh, the irony)

Belle: But there's something in him that I simply didn't see.

(Now since the objects are singing so freaking fast, I have to say what's happening in the background first. Geez)

The birds flew away and Beast looked at her happily. Belle threw a snowball at his face. Beast takes a huge pile of snow but Belle hits him with another snowball and the huge pile falls on his head.

Max: Such a fail. *takes a snowball to the face* Huh?

Now Belle and the Beast are ganging up on him. Oh shoot, run for your life, Max! The Beast has a freaking huge snowball! Okay. Nevermind. He got hit.

_Scene Change To The Objects who know how to sing better than the author._

(It's true)

Lumiere: Well who'd have thought?

Mrs. Potts: Well bless my soul.

Cogsworth: And who'd have known?

Mrs. Potts: Well who indeed?

Lumiere: And who'd have guessed they'd come together on their own?

Mrs. Potts: It's so peculiar.

(OH SEE? It's there again! Howard Ashman (the lyrics dude for _Beauty and the Beast_ and _The Little Mermaid_) really likes that word)

Lumiere, Mrs. Potts and Cogsy: We'll wait and see, A few days more. There may be something there that wasn't there before.

_Scene Change To Belle reading a story to Beast. Max, Cogsworth, Lumiere, and Chip are watching them._

Cogsworth: Yes, perhaps there's something there that wasn't there before.

Chip: What?

Mrs. Potts: There may be something there that wasn't there before.

Chip: What's there, mama?

Mrs. Potts: I'll tell you when you're older.

Max: My gosh, can't you just tell the kid what you're talking about? He might think there's like a ghost-

Chip: A ghost?

Mrs. Potts: Max! *to Chip* There are no ghosts here.

Chip and Max: Aww.

Max: Oh, wait. I made that up. Well, Chip. *to Mrs. Potts* Can I explain to him?

Mrs. Potts: Fine. But in a way that he can understand.

Max: Alrightt.

(Here comes Max's way of explaining things)

Max: Now, Chip. What's there with Belle and Beast is that...*crouches* There's a huge heart aura around them.

Lumiere: *facepalm*

Chip: Heart shaped?

Max: Yup. Get it now?

Chip: Oh!

Max: You get it!

Chip: What's an aura?

Max: Oh...um...what is it? It's a...atmosphere...thing.

Chip: A heart shaped atmosphere?

Max: Yup.

Chip: But wait...how can it be heart shaped if its a sphere?

Lumiere and Cogsworth sigh.

Max: He has a point.

Mrs. Potts: Max, just get on with it.

Max: Alright then...they're _very _close friends. The End. *runs away*

(...really?)

* * *

><p>AN: So, how do you like Max's explanation? T_T

Next chapter: Beauty and the Beast! It's the 2nd chapter that has a regular name besides "Be Our Guest!" and yup! You guessed it! The next chapter will be called "Beauty and the Beast". Very dull. Just like the West Wing.

Please review! And if you want, you could say some suggestions for Disney movies I could make a parody out of. ^-^ Thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter 12: Beauty and the Beast

A/N: So, um...people will be formally dressed this chapter! Except Lumiere, Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts, Sultan, Chip and all the other objects. I guess they didn't find a size! Hahahahaha...ha..*ahem* Max'll be dressed too. And I _might_ do stuff on the sequels...I might.

And I think it's getting more serious. I think. I'm not sure. O_O Anyways...

Read on! (That's gonna be one of my taglines now in stories. :D)

* * *

><p><em>Scene Change to the bathroom in the Beast's lair. I guess. I mean, who doesn't have a bathroom?<em>

So, the Beast is getting ready for his 'date' with Belle.

Same Random Dood: *sniff* They grow up so fast. *sniff*

(I don't think she grew up at all. But don't you ever wonder how long Belle stayed in the castle?)

And the Beast is in the tub. And stuff.

Lumiere: Tonight is the night!

Beast: I'm not sure I can do this.

Lumiere: You don't have time to be timid. You must be bold, daring.

Lex Luthor: I'm bald and daring.

Superman: *sniggers* Yes you are.

(Ooh, a random Superman moment...though that will be the last one..I think)

Beast: Bold. Daring. *shakes dry*

(Furry!)

Lumiere: There will be music. Romantic candlelight, provided by myself, and when the time is right, you confess your love!

(Yes, yes. *imitates Lumiere or just with a French accent* Confess your love! Then you hug, then you talk, then you hug again, cause hugging is nice, then you talk again! Then that's all! The end of the night! *in normal voice* That's a boring night)

Beast: *is getting groomed* Yes, I- I con- No, I can't.

Lumiere: You care for the girl, don't you?

(You know her name, why do you _still_ say girl?)

Lumiere: It, uh, doesn't really sound right if I say 'Belle'.

(Oh shoot, that's right. I can't even imagine you saying her name)

Beast: I care for her more than anything.

(Then bake her a cake)

Beast: I can't bake.

(Well you have to bake her something)

Lumiere: Well then, master, you must tell her!

Beast: That I'm gonna bake a cake for her?

Lumiere: No, no. Confess!

Coatrack has been cutting Beast's top hair, since he has hair/fur all over him. Coatrack finishes and steps back.

Lumiere: Voila! You look so...so...

Beast: *has bows and pigtails and stuff* Stupid.

*boing-sound-effect*

Lumiere: Not quite the word I was looking for.

(Intimidating?)

Lumiere: No.

(Dumb?)

Lumiere: Not quite.

(Stupid?)

Lumiere: Anyway. Perhaps a little more off the top.

Coatrack starts cutting again.

(Man, he's good)

Cogsworth and Max enter.

(Great, I have to describe Max again, because I want to)

Cogsworth is regular. Max is wearing some formal thing that's black and gold and dark blue...and white. Okay, so white shirt, black pants- Ah nevermind. He just has a formal jacket thing with a dark blue buttoned vest and boots. The end.

Cogsworth: Ahem, ahem, ahem.

Max: Belle is coming.

(Hm, quite formal)

Max: Well, what do you want me to do? Bow?

(...)

Max: *sighs and bows* Your lady awaits.

(There ya go)

Max: I'm not born to be fancy. *walks off*

(Neither am I! I sometimes want to throw tomatoes at people...and anyone wonder why they don't show Belle what's happening? I wanna try it!)

Batman: I'm not born to be fancy either. I'm born to crack ribs.

(...)

_Scene Rewinds and goes to Belle's room._

Mrs. Potts: Are you okay?

Belle: *is behind some random door somewhere* Yes. I'm gonna come out now. *comes out with the nice yellow sparkly ballgown*

Wardrobe: You look beautiful!

Belle: Really?

Mrs. Potts: You do look wonderful, dear. Now hurry! It's almost time.

_Scene change to the Grand Staircase_

Max: *is at the bottom of the Grand Staircase* Really? That's all?

(Yup)

Max: That's your imagination of what happened in Belle's room?

(Hey, that's all I could think of)

Belle comes out from the right side, and Beast from the other. Yeah. Oh wait...no, no, sorry. It's the other way around. Belle on the left side and Beast on the other. Okay. Alrighhhtt. Let's do this thang.

Beast has that suit everyone knows about. And Belle has that gown everyone knows about. So there's no bother for describing it.

Belle and the Beast look at each other. And stuff.

Bruce Wayne: Nice night isn't it?

Max: *Max looks to his left where Bruce is and sighs* Why are you here?

Bruce Wayne: Because, I like this movie.

(Really?)

Bruce Wayne: Yeah. Its just- Just so _magical_.

Max: Why is everyone calling this movie _magical?_ And why is it always in italics?

(You like _magical_ movies, Bruce? I can't imagine that. I see you watching Bruce Lee movies or something)

Bruce Wayne: Well, I have to watch princess movies.

(Oh- wait. You don't have a daughter that's like 3 years old. Who do you watch with? Batgirl?)

Bruce Wayne: ...I think I should leave. *starts walking away*

Max: He watches by himself?

(With what? Popcorn and stuff toys of the sidekicks all around him?)

Bruce Wayne: *in the background* Don't insult me!

Max: He does...

Belle and Beast are arm in arm and walking down the stairway when Sultan holds them back for a moment.

Sultan: *woof*

Max: Wow.

(Yup)

_Scene Change to the Dinner Room Thing with Beast, Max, and Belle eating. _

Mrs. Potts is singing on her cart with Chip on board.

(That would be so cool if her cart had flaming decals on it)

Mrs. Potts: *rapping* BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST! *record scratches*

*imagination disappears*

(Okay, that was stupid)

Max: Yes it was. *sips soup*

Mrs. Potts: *singing regularly* Tale as old as time. True as it can be. Barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly.

Coatrack is playing the violin next to Belle.

(Dude, I'm telling you. That Coatrack is freaking talented)

Batman: I'm talented.

(What the-)

Max: What happened to Bruce?

Batman: He's dead. No, I'm kidding. I just changed into this costume again because it's freaking awesome. _And_ I'm working on my grr. *hisses and leaves*

Max: He'll get it in time before the movie ends. I hope.

Mrs. Potts: Just a little change. Small to say the least.

Belle stands up to grab Beast's hand and they walk into the ballroom.

Mrs. Potts: Both a little scared, neither one prepared. Beauty and the Beast.

Max: Wait- *slurps soup* wait- *slurps soup* Wait! *holds bowl to mouth and drinks* Ah. *puts bowl down and hurries to the ballroom*

Beast and Belle are dancing and stuff now.

Mrs. Potts: *the cart _magically_ goes inside the ballroom* Ever just the same. Ever a surprise. Ever as before, ever just as sure, as the sun will rise.

(Is it just me, or does that _doesn't_ make sense?)

Max leans on the wall near the cart with Mrs. Potts and Chip on it.

Max: It doesn't make sense to me.

Mrs. Potts: Certain as the Sun. Rising in the east. Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme. Beauty and the Beast.

(That makes sense...I think)

Lumiere tells the candles to darken itself.

Mrs. Potts: Tale as old as time. Song as old as rhyme. Beauty and the Beast. *to Chip* Off to the cupboard with you now, Chip. It's past your bedtime. Good night, love.

(Why is this song already finished? It only lasted for like, 4 lines!)

Chip hops into Max's hand and Max puts him down.

Max: It's freaky, isn't it?

(Oh, and Belle's "friendship" attribute with the Beast goes up. PEEEWWWW)

Chip: Good night, Max.

Max: Night.

Chip leaves but comes back again to look at Belle and Beast who is now sitting on a balcony under a sky.

Chip: Wow.

Max: Of course it's under the sky.

(I know...Fine, a 'starry' sky. You happy now?)

Max: Nope.

(What more do you want?)

Max: Nothing. I just wanted to annoy you. *grins*

(...)

_Scene Change to Belle and the Beast. Under a nice starry sky that for some reason turns all stormy because of the dumb evil people later. Why do bad guys always have to make everything stormy, misty, or fiery? It's like people are all happy and joyful and singing, then the stupid evil character shows up and everything is all dark and misty. WHAT IS THEIR PROBLEM?_

So now, The Beast and Belle are sitting down, and scratching their heads and playing with their dress. You could tell which one's doing which. And that would be freaky if the Beast was wearing a gown.

Beast: Belle? *holds hands. Belle's hands. I dunno how can you hold both of your hands, with, your hands* Are you, happy here with me?

Belle: *hesitantly* Yes, of course. *looks away*

Beast: What is it?

Belle: If only I could see my father again, just for a moment. I miss him so much.

(Yes..*evil..ens voice* Yes, you will see your father. DYING! MUHAHHAHA!)

Max: What's your problem?

(I can't stop myself from doing that. Maurice will be fine, anyway)

Beast: *looks sad then looks excited* There is a way.

Belle and the Beast walk inside again.

Max: Hey! Where you both going? *walks over in a cool, dumb manner*

(Stop that)

Max: Sorry. *walks over regularly*

Belle: He says he knows a way to see my father.

Max: Oh really? *looks at them suspiously*

*Stare lasts for about 2 minutes*

_1 minute and 59 seconds later._

Max: Alright then. Let's go!

_Scene Change to the Beast's Room. And there's still that torn picture of himself that's freaky just because of the eyes._

Beast hands Belle the magic mirror.

Beast: This mirror will show you anything. Anything you wish to see.

Max: Wait! I wanna test this first. Magic mirror in Belle's hand, what will happen next in this land?

Magic Mirror: The Beast will di-

Max: *to the mirror* Shuttup! *to Belle* It's working perfectly well.

(You had to ask that?)

Max: Quiet.

Belle: I'd like to see my father, please.

(She's so nice, she says please to a mirror)

The magic mirror glows green and stuff and looks cool. The mirror shows Maurice coughing in the snow storm.

Max: That's weird. It was clear before, now it's snowing, then later it's going to rain. WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?

Belle: Papa! Oh, no. He's sick, he may be dying. And he's all alone.

Beast: *looks at the Rose disappointingly* Then...then you must go to him.

Belle: What did you say?

Beast: I release you. You are no longer my prisoner.

Belle: You mean...I'm free?

Beast: Yes.

Belle: Oh, thank you. *starts leaving but stops* But, how about Max?

Max: Wha?

Beast: You're released too.

Max: Oh uh, um, duh, ah...*speaks gibberish quickly*

Beast: Go. Belle would need you.

(No, actually. The story needs Max to go with Belle so-)

Max: You're making me feel unimportant!

(Well, you are! You, Me, Random People, and Batman provide the comic relief so...)

Max: Fine then...

Belle: Thank you for releasing both of us. *to magic mirror* Hold on, Papa. I'm on my way. *Belle turns to leave, then turns back and pushes the magic mirror back to the Beast*

Beast: *tenderly* Take it with you, so you'll always have a way to look back, *touches Belle's hair* and remember me.

(DUDE LOOK AT THAT HAIR ANIMATION. ITSSOFREAKINGAWESOME)

Belle: *also tenderly* Thank you for understanding how much he needs me. *turns to leave*

Belle touches her hand to Beast's cheek and walks out. Max follows but stops at the doorway at Beast's words.

Beast: Max.

(Oooh, rare serious moment!)

Max: What?

Beast: Protect...her for me. While she's outside the castle.

Max: *smirks* I've been doing that from the start. *leaves*

(Trust attribute going up! PEEWWWW)

Cogsworth enters after Max left.

(You know, we need something random, _and_ to describe something)

Same Random Dood: BELLE'S IN HER ROOM CHANGING TO HER REGULAR OUTFIT. SO IS MAX.

(That doesn't sound right)

Cogsworth: Well, your highness. I must say everything is going just peachy. I knew you had it in you.

Beast: *is very sad* I let her go.

Cogsworth: Hahaha, yes. Splend- You what? How could you do that?

Beast: *is now very very sad* I had to.

Cogsworth: Yes, but why?

Beast: Because, *looks to Cogsworth* I love her.

(Dude, you know how freaky it would be if he said "him"? I would be so freaked out I wouldn't even tell Max)

Batman: I could do that. To, you know. Surprise him. Say, "April Fool's Day."

(IT'S NOT APRIL FOOL'S DAY. I think. WELL IT WOULDN'T BE, BECAUSE IF IT WAS. THAT WOULD BE STUPID)

_Scene Changes to Objects Talking about the Emo Beast- I mean the Beast._

Every Object: He did what?

Cogsworth: Yes, I'm afraid it's true.

Chip: She's going away?

Lumiere: But he was so close.

At this time. Everyone is sad. Except Max. He's always happy...I think. Unless some bad Disney character ticks him off. Just like what's going to happen later.

Mrs. Potts: After all this time, he's finally learned to love.

Lumiere: That's it, then. That should break the spell!

Mrs. Potts: But it's not enough. She has to love him in return.

(Yeah, Lumiere. Weren't you there when you got cursed? Duh)

Cogsworth: And now it's too late.

(Nothing is too late, Cogsy. Nothing is ever late in Disney. Unless when the clock strikes 12, cause then it'll be _really_ late! Hahahhaa. Get it? No? No one?)

*cricket sound while everyone is staring kinda at you if this was a movie*

(...)

Jiminy Cricket: What?

Cricket (From _Mulan)_: *squeaks in a question...way*

* * *

><p>AN: How are my jokes so far? :D Well, jokes that are said that it's a joke. o-o

Anyways. Please review! And thanks for reading!

DisneyPrincess: As you wish. The Batman moments will keep coming! He just ruins the moment so perfectly. :)

Haha. Buttresses. :D


	13. Chapter 13: The Stupid Mob

A/N: Soo...how are ya? Good? How's your day? Alright then...this will be the chapter before the last chapter. After I finish this story, I'm gonna start on _Tangled: Mixed Version Parody._ Apparently, that's the name of it. Not so different from the title of this story...anyways.

Read on!

* * *

><p><em>Scene Change to the Beast roaring...and stuff. While Max and Belle are in their regular clothes again, because every Disney character have their own signature clothes. Even Max. And they are riding on Philippe galloping towards the BLACK FOREST.<em>

(Whoa)

Oh, and it's snowing hard because Maurice had to get sick somehow.

Belle: Papa! Papa?

Max: *has on the bag...satchel thing* Belle's Father! Belle's Father?

Belle looks at him for a moment. Max notices.

Max: What?

Belle: There he is! *points to Maurice in the snow. The snow? What is this madness?*

(YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT?)

Batman: Yes I do.

(Leave...or I'll HISS IN YOUR FACE)

Batman: Fine...*leaves*

(Oh yeah)

Max gets down from Philippe and goes near Maurice.

Max: He's breathing.

(So caring)

Max: Well it's the truth.

Max starts to get Maurice up on Philippe but stops.

Max: Wait!

Belle: What, Max?

Max: We can't fit on one horse.

(No worries. In the original movie, they never showed how Belle got Maurice on Philippe, so I'll just scene change)

Max: Alright then.

_Scene Change to them Arriving at Belle's Home Cottage House Thingy._

Lefou: *as a snowman* Oh, they're back! *runs off to tell You Know Who*

(No, not Voldemort, smarty pants)

_Scene Change to a black screen. It's from Maurice's point of view. So apparently he's dead. Oh wait, it's opening up. Nevermind. He's alive._

Maurice's vision clears up and sees Belle. Camera changes to regular view.

Belle: Shh.

Max: Heh.

Maurice: Belle?

Belle: It's alright, Papa. I'm home.

Max: *is sitting down on a chair next to the bed...well I'm not sure if there's a chair, but just imagine it _is_ there* Yes she is.

Maurice: I thought I'd never see you again!

Belle: I missed you so much.

And I think they hug here...oh wait...I don't know. I don't think so.

Maurice: But the beast. How did you escape?

Max: How did you know his name?

Belle and Maurice stare at Max.

Max: *looks down* Sorry.

Maurice: You're here too, Max!

Max: Yeaaah.

Maurice: Thank you so much for protecting Belle!

Max: Yeaaah. So about escaping?

Belle: I didn't escape, Papa. He let us go.

Maurice: That horrible beast?

Belle: But he's different, now. He's changed somehow.

Max: Rhyme.

Belle and Maurice stare at him again.

Max: What? So I speak my mind most of the time...it's funny though. *smiles*

(_Most_ of the time)

So there's a sound coming from the random pack that Max was carrying before. And in the original movie, we had no idea where the heck that came from.

"Belle's" pack opens up and the magic mirror and Chip roll out..Well, Chip rolls out. I dunno how can a mirror roll out. It's kinda flat.

Chip: Hiya!

Belle and Max: Oh, a stowaway.

Belle and Max look at each other for a moment and back at Chip.

Maurice: Why, hello there, little fella. Didn't think I'd ever see you again.

Chip turns to Belle.

Chip: Belle, Max, why'd you go away? Don't you like us anymore?

Belle looks at Max for some help.

Max: You were the first one to leave.

Belle: Oh, Chip. Of course I do. It's just that-

Batman: There's someone knocking on the door. Want me to go crack his ribs?

Max: *quickly replies* Yes.

Belle: Max. *stands up and walks to the door*

Max does the same.

Max: Cominggg.

Belle opens the door and Max is next to her.

(Wait, why didn't she look through the weird freaky periscope thingy?)

Max: Cause it's at night! It doesn't work at night. I think.

Monsieur D'Arque is at the door.

Belle: May I help you?

(Freak this. I'm just gonna put D'Arque. Dumb name)

D'Arque: I've come to collect your father. *steps aside to show the Asylum thingys*

(That doesn't sound right)

Max: *has the 'what the heck?' look on him* What are you gonna do with him in there?

Belle: My father?

D'Arque: No. Your stupid sidekick.

Max: Do that and I'll go Batman with Batman on your-

D'Arque: Of course I meant your father!

Batman: Alright, you don't have to go all dumb on us. Old geezer. *high fives Max*

D'Arque: Don't worry, mademoiselle. We'll take good care of him.

Belle: My father's not crazy.

Max: Yeah, her father's not crazy! You are! Old-

Same Random Dood: FREAKY!

(Dumb!)

Batman: Geezer.

Lefou: *from the crowd* He was raving like a lunatic. We all heard him, didn't we?

Okay, so now Max and Belle are outside on the porch.

Stupid Extra People: Yeah!

Belle: No, I won't let you!

Maurice comes out from Belle's Cottage Home House.

Maurice: Belle?

Lefou: Ah, Maurice. Tell us again, old man, just how big was the beast?

Maurice: Well, he was...that is...enormous. I'd say at least eight, no more like ten feet!

Stupid Crowd laughs.

(IT'S EIGHT FEET DARN IT)

Same Random Dood: YEAH!

Lefou: Well, you don't get much crazier than that!

Batman: Unless you're the Joker. Or _YOU._

Random Audience: Ooooh.

Same Random Dood: BURN!

Maurice: It's true, I tell you!

The Old Geezer That Likes To Collect Old Dudes waves his arms and people move in to pick up Maurice.

(Hehe. 'The Old Geezer That Likes To Collect Old Dudes'. Freakkkk)

Lefou: Take him away!

Maurice: Let go of me! *is getting picked up by freaks*

Belle: No, you can't do this!

Max: Yeah, you can't do this!

(See, this is the part where I just wanna grab a torch and burn everyone there. Including The Dumb Idiot Freak and The Old Geezer That Collects People...and the other Idiot)

Gaston: Tsk, tsk, tsk. Poor Belle. It's a shame about your father.

Max: Oh great.

Belle: You know he's not crazy, Gaston.

Gaston: I might be able to clear up this little misunderstanding, if...

Belle: If what?

Gaston: If you marry me.

Max: I'll do it.

Belle: What?

Max: So I could sneak in your bedroom and grab your head and smash it on the wall!

(Brutal)

Batman: Awesome.

Gaston: *to Max* It's not your business! *to Belle* One little word, Belle. That's all it takes.

Belle: Never!

Gaston: Have it your way. *turns and walks away*

Maurice: *is being thrown into the wagon* Belle?

Belle runs back into her Home Cottage House Thingy.

Maurice: Let go of me!

Belle: *comes back with the magic mirror* My father's not crazy and I can prove it! *to the magic mirror* Show me the Beast!

The magic mirror glows and stuff and looks cool and shows the Beast still being depressed.

The Stupid Crowd gasps.

Extra (Stupid) Woman: Is it dangerous?

Max: It? It's a freaking 'he'! People! A 'he'!

Belle: Oh, no. He'd never hurt anyone. Please, I know he looks vicious, but he's really kind and gentle. He's my friend.

Max: _Our_ friend! He really is nice! I mean, he freaking _dances!_ He could also read!

(He can't say 'two' right)

Max: Well it does look like 'twoh'. He could also _sing!_ Better than me, actually.

(You could still sing though)

Max: Okay, so I could sing. No one knows how my voice is though.

* * *

><p>AN: Okay, so that was a bad ending. But I had to end it there. The last chapter will be the very last chapter. I hope after you read this story, you wait upon my _Tangled_ fanfic!

Please review and thanks for reading!


	14. Chapter 14: Happily Ever After

A/N: Here it is. The very last chapter! DisneyPrincess: Hmm, The Great Mouse Detective? I probably won't do it. I'm sorryy..please don't hate me forever. O-O And I'm glad I know someone would wait for my Tangled Fanfic. :D

Now...this'll be long. And it reached my expectations as the longest chapter ever! ^-^ So hurry up and...

Read On!

* * *

><p>Gaston: If I didn't know better, I'd think you had feelings for this monster.<p>

Belle: He's no monster, Gaston. You are!

Random Audience: OOHHH SHOOT.

Same Random Dood: BOOM. Nuke Burn.

Gaston: She's as crazy as the old man!

Max: Get your hands off of her! *punch*

(Lol. 'Punch')

Same Random Dood: WOOO!

Gaston rises again.

Gaston: You're as crazy as both of them!

(I think that's bad in grammar. Freak)

Max: A guardian, actually! Oooh. You're so repetitive. *imitates Gaston in a dumb voice* Hey look, he's crazy, she's crazy, now he's crazy. Now, _I'm_ crazy. Cause it's supposed to be that way because I'm a-

Max got hit.

(...)

Belle: Max!

Max: *stands up again* I'm fine! He's too- *gets hit in the stomach by some random stupid dudes from the mob and falls down* Oookay, I'm not fine!

So at this part, Max is getting beaten up...poor guy.

(I wish I could vaporize them! But it's not painful enough!)

Fairy Godmother (From _Cinderella_): Just beat them up with a frying pan.

(But it's _still_ not painful enough! DARN IT, MAN)

Gaston grabs the mirror from Belle. The stupid random dudes stopped kicking Max and now Max is lying on the ground trying to get up.

Dumb Random Dude: Pretty boy.

Max: PRETTY BOY? DUDE I AM NOT...yeah I'm not pretty! I'm handsome! You're the one that makes people vomit!

Gaston: The beast will make off with your children! He'll come after them in the night!

Max: *is now standing up _without_ bruises on his face. Because this is Disney. People _magically_ get beaten up but they get _magically_ hurt without any scratches* You're so stupid. The Beast never leaves his castle!

(True)

Belle: No!

Gaston: We're not safe 'til his head is mounted on my wall! I say we kill the beast!

Stupid Crowd That's Dumb: Kill him!

Dumb Man 1 That's Probably Only Talking About His Family: We're not safe until he's dead,

Dumb Man 2 That Probably Stalks Gaston In His Free Time: He'll come stalking us at night!

Dumb Woman 1 That Thinks Too Much Of Her Children They Never Show In The Movie: Set to sacrifice our children to his monstrous appetite!

Dumb Man 3 That'll Probably Wreak Havoc On The Village If They Don't Kill The Beast: He'll wreak havoc on our village. If we let him wander free.

Gaston (AKA The Village Self-Centered Idiot) : So it's time to take some action, boys. It's time to follow me! *throws a torch into some random pile of hay*

(WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO TURN INTO SONG?)

Random Pile Of Hay: Noooo!

Max: Curse you!

Gaston prances around the haystack.

(Hahaaa. He's like a girl!)

Gaston: Through the mist, through the woods.

(Yup. The _mist._ Everyone see? When it's bad people, there's always mist. What the heck?)

Gaston: Through the darkness and the shadows. It's a nightmare but it's one exciting ride. Say a prayer, then we're there, at the drawbridge of a castle, and there's something truly terrible inside.

So, now it's not snowing.

Gaston: *shows Lefou the Beast* It's a beast, he's got fangs, razor sharp ones. Massive paws, killer claws for the feast. Hear him roar, see him foam, but we're not coming home! Till he's dead, good and dead, kill the beast!

Max: He's not even foaming! CAN'T YOU SEE? The freaking mirror is in your freaking face and you still can't freaking see he's, not, FOAMING!

Belle: No, I won't let you do this!

Gaston: If you're not with us, you're against us. Bring the old man and the little _guardian_.

Maurice: Get your hands off me!

Max is struggling.

Gaston throws Maurice and Belle in the basement.

Gaston: _You._ *grabs Max by the vest and knees him*

Gaston throws him into the basement and locks it.

Gaston: We can't have them running off to warn the creature!

(HOW CAN THEY WARN HIM IF YOU PEOPLE HAVE SEVERAL FREAKING HORSES THAT ARE PROBABLY FASTER THAN PHILIPPE?)

Max: What is _your problem?_ You have something against people with vests!

Belle: Let us out!

Gaston: We'll rid the village of this beast. Who's with me?

Dumb people from the Stupid Mob say "I am"

Dumb Mob: Light your torch, mount your horse!

Gaston: Screw your courage to the sticking place.

Batman: What the heck does that even mean?

Dumb Mob: We're counting on Gaston to lead the way!

Max: Ahem! The mademoiselle asked something of you! So can you let us out?

*cricket*

Max: *turns to Belle and Maurice* I think they're gone.

(Yeah, you thought Jiminy would come. But he didn't. BOOYAH)

Gaston: Through a mist, to a wood, where within a haunted castle, something's lurking that you don't see every day!

Okay so Gaston has a black horse with red eyes. That definitely makes it so obvious that Gaston is evil. Gaston is leading the Dumb Mob through the town (with people waving handkerchiefs and stuff) and the Black Forest.

Dumb Mob: It's a beast, one as tall as a mountain! We won't rest 'til he's good and deceased!Sally forth, tally ho, grab your sword, grab your bow. Praise the Lord and here we go!

Gaston: We'll lay siege to his castle and bring back his head!

(_Stupido_)

_Scene Change To The Inside Of The Basement. Yeah, the one with Maurice, Belle and Max. That one._

Belle is prying at the window with some random stick she found.

Random Stick: I'm getting hurt but I don't care! She's using me! *is apparently happy*

Belle: I have to warn the Beast. This is all my fault. Oh, Papa. What are we going to do?

Maurice: Now, now. We'll think of something.

Max: Wait! I know! Now stand back everyone.

Maurice and Belle back up.

Belle: Max, what are you-

Max: AAAH! *runs towards the basement door and rams it with his shoulder*

Max holds his right shoulder with a painful look on his face.

Max: Awwww..why do I keep on hurting myself when nothing good comes out?

Maurice: I think that was a bad idea.

Max: *in a painful voice, of course* No kidding! *falls*

Outside of the basement, Chip is looking through the basement window. Then he sees Maurice's machine thingy with the axe at the end of it.

(Yeah, Chip. You go cut those Mob's heads off)

Chip: Ew! Why would I do that?

(I thought you were-)

Chip: I'm going to get Belle and Max out!

(Oh...That's good too)

_Scene Change To The Dumb Mob. _

Dumb Mob: We don't like, what we don't understand.

(Yup. To put this in life terms, we never like a math problem we can't solve. That should do it)

Batman: Actually, we never like any math problem. *hiss*

(True)

Dumb Mob: It frankly scares us and this monster is mysterious at least! Bring your guns, bring your knives, save your children and your wives, we'll save our village and our lives. We'll kill the beast!

Thunder and lightning appear. BOOOGHHH. Okay.

Cogsworth: I knew it, I knew it was foolish to get our hopes up.

Lumiere: Maybe it would have been better if she had never come at all.

Sultan comes in barking and stuff.

Everyone rushes to the window expecting Belle.

Lumiere: Could it be?

Mrs. Potts: Is it she?

(You could've just said "Belle". Gosh, people don't like saying her name)

Sees that it's just some girl in red and a mob behind her.

Lumiere: Sacre bleu, invaders!

Cogsworth: Encroachers!

Mrs. Potts: *sees Gaston* And they have the mirror!

(WAIT! How the heck did they know where the castle is? Unless the mirror has a GPS system on it?)

_Scene Fades To OT'S Imagination and the Dumb Mob in the Black Forest._

Magic Mirror: Turn, right.

Gaston: This way, men! *turns right*

Magic Mirror: You are at your destination.

Gaston: No, we're not! This stupid thing must be broken! This thing could only show half of the way! How is this so magical if-

Magic Mirror: Look in the distance, stupid.

Gaston looks up and sees the castle in the distance.

Magic Mirror: Why? You need directions to go straight? Idiot.

Same Random Dood: BOOM. Nuke.

_Imagination Fades Off and Back to the Castle._

Cogsworth: Warn the master. If it's a fight they want, we'll be ready for them.

Everyone dashes away except Cogsworth.

Cogsworth: Who's with me? *doors slams* Aaahh!

Every Awesome Object: Hearts ablaze, banners high! We go marching into battle, unafraid, although the danger just increased!

Dumb Mob: Raise the flag, sing the song, here we come, we're fifty strong and fifty Frenchmen can't be wrong! Let's kill the beast!

(Actually, fifty Frenchmen _can_ be wrong. Because apparently, you guys will get beaten up by moving objects, and a teapot)

_Scene Change To The Beast's Lair. Where Mrs. Potts is telling him what the heck is going on out there._

Mrs. Potts: Pardon me, master.

Beast: Leave me in peace.

Mrs. Potts: But sir, the castle is under attack!

So since the scene change will be so dumb and short, I'll just tell you what's going outside. The Dumb Mob is saying stuff about "killing the beast" or something like that.

Every Awesome Object are trying to block them from coming in.

Lumiere: This isn't working!

Featherduster: Oh, Lumiere! We must do something!

Lumiere: Wait! I know!

(You'll bake a cake? What? I feel like cake)

_Scene Change To The Beast's Lair...again..apparently._

Mrs. Potts: What shall we do, master?

Beast: *is still gloomy and sad and depressed and emo* It doesn't matter now. Just let them come.

Mrs. Potts: OH COME ON. IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW? It's better being a freaking teapot than dying! I mean, you look better as a beast! GEEZ. You've been looking at that Rose for the past hour! Turn your head to the _freaking_ window! SO GET YOUR LITTLE BUTT OVER HERE AND HELP US KILL THE MOB!

*imagination disappears*

(I'm so sorry)

Dumb Mob: Kill the beast, kill the beast, kill the beast!

The Dumb Mob succeeds in breaking the door down.

(Geez. Can't you guys say something else to stay in rhythm? You've been saying "kill the beast" for like how many minutes? You should do the Bee Gees. It helps you do CPR)

*song "Staying Alive" plays up*

(Yeah, stay to the beat...okay nevermind. I should've told you guys way before you got here)

Everyone in the Dumb Mob step in the entrance with objects scattered around. Lefou picks up Lumiere without knowing.

Lumiere: Now!

All of the objects come to life and start beating everyone up. Except Gaston, who runs to find the Beast.

(Apparently, he's scared of objects. That's why he hurries. Not to kill the Beast, but because he's scared of moving objects)

_Scene Change to Belle's Home House Cottage Thingy._

Chip was blowing into the furnace of the weird freaky machine thingy.

Chip: Yes! *machine starts moving* Here we go!

Maurice: What the devil? Belle, look out!

Belle and Maurice hurry to cover when Max already knew what was coming and was just sitting down.

The weird machine thingy crashes into the basement. Belle, Max, and Maurice come out of the wreckage to find Chip swinging on a loose spring.

Chip: You guys gotta try this thing.

Max: Way to go, Chip!

Chip and Max (kinda) high fives.

_Scene changes to the Castle again with the Awesome Objects beating up "fifty Frenchmen that can't be wrong". Well, fourty five because of Gaston's cowardice._

So, Mrs. Potts and other teacups pour _hot_ tea on a dude. Sultan leads Lefou and other people to the kitchen with the awesome Stove that has knives. Oh yeah, knives. A chest eats a person and burps (I love that part). A dude gets into the Wardrobe and comes out with girl clothes. Lumiere burns someone to save Featherduster. Lumiere gets cornered by Lefou with a torch and some other dumb dude and gets saved. Oh yeah, Cogsworth goes crazy and pokes Lefou with scissors. That hurts, by the way. And every dumb Frenchman retreats from the castle with the Awesome Objects cheering.

Cogsworth: And stay out!

Lumiere pulls over Cogsworth and kisses him on both cheeks.

(And as you noticed, it's a French thing)

Cogsworth shakes his arms.

Since it's supposed to be a scene change right here, I won't. Because it's Gaston. And I don't care for him.

Gaston kicks open several doors (I bet he got tired) and finally finds the Beast in his lair. Gaston takes aim on his dumb bow. The Beast looks at him but looks down again.

(Oh my freak. Did anyone else notice how "depressed" he is?)

Gaston releases the arrow and it hits the Beast's shoulder. Gaston runs to him and pushes him, or something through the window onto the roof of the castle.

So now, it's raining. This weather's freaky.

Gaston: Hahahahaha!

Gaston corners the Beast on the edge of the roof.

Gaston: Get up! Get up! What's the matter, Beast? Too kind and gentle to fight back?

(You just said he would destroy the village)

Gaston: Wh-

(NO. NO. No second thoughts! Genius)

The Beast looks down in despair. Gaston breaks off some freaky piece on the roof and he almost hits the Beast but Belle comes to the rescue!

Belle: *is still on the drawbridge and on Philippe with her cool blue cloak on* No!

(Some rescue)

Beast: *hears her voice and goes all brave and stuff* Belle.

Belle: Gaston, don't!

Max: *is on Phillippe, Maurice is not on Philippe. Max had to fit there. I don't even know how they got there only on Philippe and has his cool red cloak on* She means as _don't_ hit him!

Maurice has his cloak too on, I guess.

Belle looks at him.

Max: What? He needs to know with that air in his head.

Gaston (finally) swings down at the Beast (after like 5 minutes) and the Beast catches the weapon and rises.

The Beast roars.

Batman: *grr* That's my grr.

(OH SHOOT. HE GOT IT RIGHT. *pops fireworks*)

The Beast and Gaston start fighting, then afterwards, the Beast hides as a gargoyle that obviously sticks out but Gaston can't even see that.

Belle: Let's go, Philippe!

Max: Let's go Philippe! Oh sorry. Late.

Philippe starts galloping to the main doors and opens the door dramatically for some reason.

Gaston: Come on out and fight! Were you in love with her, beast? Did you honestly think she'd want you when she had someone like me?

The Beast emerges from anger and fights Gaston again.

Gaston: It's over, beast! Belle is mine!

Max: I still don't know how they knew his name.

The Beast picks Gaston up and holds him over the edge of the roof.

Gaston: Put me down. Put me down. Please, don't hurt me! I'll do anything! Anything!

Batman: Weenie.

The Beast's anger melts away and his 'mercy' side of him appears. He pulls Gaston on the roof again.

Beast: Get out. *shoves Gaston to the ground*

Same Random Dood: WOO! You shove that lady!

(...he does have pretty long flowing hair. Not as pretty as Belle's though. Of course. I had to say that because he's a...you know, guy)

Belle: Beast! *is on the balcony with Max*

Beast: Belle! *begins to climb the tower thing and he hangs over the side of the balcony*

Beast: Belle. You came back!

The Beast and Belle look at each other, in a, you know, nice way. But stupid Gaston for some reason could climb the tower and stabbed the Beast in the kidney.

Gaston starts to fall for some reason. But aren't we happy? Gaston falls from the tower and squeals like a little cheerleader girl and into the dark...place. Beast loses his balance, but Belle (with her strong arms...hm) pulls him back. Max and the Beast help him onto the balcony. The Beast lies there injured and Max steps away with the Awesome Objects that rushed up there. They're pretty fast for hopping objects.

(Serious moment! Serious moments always make Max not able to make jokes if someone's dying. If he does, that'd be awkward)

Max: Don't worry. I won't.

Beast: You- you came back.

Belle: Of course I came back. I couldn't let them...Oh this is all my fault. If only I'd gotten here sooner.

Beast: Maybe it's better this way.

Belle: Don't talk like that. You'll be all right. We're together now. Everything's going to be fine. You'll see.

Beast: At least I got to see you one...last...time.

The Beast puts his paw to Belle's cheek, then after a moment, he drops it. His head back and his (important) eyes closed. Now Belle is crying and hugs the Beast.

Same Random Dood: OH MY GOSSSH. *is crying too* STOP CRYING, BELLE. YOU'RE MAKING _ME_ CRY. *sniffs and blows nose*

(Okay)

Belle: *whispers* I love you.

Same Random Dood: AWWWWWW, FREAK. *is crying even more*

The Awesome Objects who are sad now watched the Rose's last petal fall.

(OH! OH! IT'S _AFTER_ SHE SAID IT!)

Same Random Dood: OH MY GAAH, YOU'RE RIGHT! *is now happily crying*

In the rain, a beam of light shoots across.

Same Random Dood: OH SHOOT! IT'S MICKEY.

(*facepalm*)

Then other beams of light shoots across. Belle _finally_ notices it. Everyone else notices it. Max starts smiling again gradually. Belle stops crying (almost instantly, which is kind of impossible, I think) and backs away as the Beast rises. The Beast starts transforming with his paw and his hind paw to a human hand and human foot.

(His toes are glowinggg)

A wind blows to the Beast's face and he turns into a guy with nice hair. He descends and is laid on the floor by some _magical_ thing.

The dude stands up and looks at his hands then turns to face Belle with his intense eyes.

(Dude, why can't he just look at her normally?)

Belle looks at him suspiciously.

Prince Adam: Belle! It's me!

(Who's me? You gotta be more specific, pretty boy)

Belle looks at him until Chapter Three (which means she took so long even though she saw the whole transformation) and sees the blue eyes, the same eyes as the Beast.

Belle touches his shiny hair.

Chip and Max snigger.

(*glares*)

Max and Chip: Sorry.

Belle: It is you!

Okay, so now they're looking at each other nicely and stuff. Then, guess what? They kiss. Fireworks come out of nowhere, the whole castle is transformed back into nice stuff. And eventually, they stop kissing of course, and the objects come out of the dark.

Same Random Dood: IT'S A HAPPY ENDING! *blows nose*

Batman: Nice...my work here, is done.

(Good 'grring', Batsy)

Batman: Thanks. *grapples some pretend building and leaves, somehow*

Max: I told you he'd get it.

(Will Just Call) Adam: *Lumiere turns into a human* Lumiere! *Cogsworth turns into a human* Cogsworth! *Mrs. Potts turns into a human* Mrs. Potts! Look at us!

Max: That's what we're doing.

Chip: *on Sultan* Mama! Mama!

Chip and Sultan turn into an animal and a human, you know which one turns into which.

Mrs. Potts: *picks up Chip* Oh my goodness!

Lumiere: It is a miracle!

Adam picks up Belle and swings her around and the scene changes to the Ballroom where they're all dressed up, even Max. Belle and Adam kissed again, and are now dancing. Hooray.

(Aww. Everything is getting so serious now)

Lumiere: Ah, l'amour.

A maid, which is the Featherduster walks by.

Lumiere: Heh heh! *starts to chase after her*

Cogsworth holds him back.

Cogsworth: Well, Lumiere, old friend. Shall we let bygones be bygones?

Lumiere: Of course, mon ami. I told you she would break the spell.

Cogsworth: I beg your pardon, old friend, but I believe I told you.

Lumiere: No you didn't. I told you.

Cogsworth: You most certainly did not, you pompous parrafin-headed pea-brain!

Lumiere: En garde, you overgrown pocket watch!

*takes off his glove and slaps him across the face with it*

(So true)

They both begin to fight.

(So much serious! There will be no more funny or random parts...)

Chip: *looking at Belle and Adam* Are they gonna live happily ever after, mama?

Mrs. Potts: Of course, my dear. Of course.

Chip: Do I still have to sleep in the cupboard?

Maurice and Mrs. Potts laugh.

(I guess it's a happily ever after. Unless they start fighting or something)

Max: *smiles* Nah, it's Disney. If they fight, they would eventually get back together.

(True)

Max looks at the couple for another moment and starts to walk away. Belle notices. Belle stops dancing and rushes to Max. Adam is following.

(Friendship power!)

Belle: Max!

Max: *stops and looks back* Hm?

Belle: Where are you going?

Max: I'm...uh, leaving.

Belle: Well, are we gonna meet again?

Max: Of course, Princess.

Chip, Mrs. Potts, Cogsworth, Maurice and Lumiere interrupt.

Chip: Why do you have to leave so early, Max?

Max: Early? I've been with you for as long as...I'm with you!

(He was supposed to say as long as Belle was there in the castle but we have no idea how long she stayed)

Chip: I'm going to miss you! *hug*

(*snigger* Hug. Haaa)

Cogsworth: Well, farewell to you, Max.

Lumiere: Goodbye, old- _New_, friend.

Maurice: Thanks for taking care of Belle.

Max: Nah, it's not really- Well yeah.

Adam: Bye, Max. Take care.

Belle advances then hugs Max.

Belle: *stops* When will we meet again?

Max: Soon, Princess. It's sooner than you can say, "Max!"

Chip: Max!

Max: Okay, so not as fast as that. But soon. *turns to leave* Bye, _Princess_ Belle. *clicks tongue*

(Stop)

Max: Sorry.

Max gets further and further away from them.

Max: *stops* Oh! And I can't really _take_ care! It's an expression! See? Get it? Nevermind!

Everyone waves at him.

Jiminy Cricket appears at Max's shoulder.

Jiminy: Ready?

Max: Ready. *pulls up his sleeve and points his arm out*

The gauntlet shoots out an arch doorway, thingy. Max steps through and finds himself in the real world (not the animation world). A huge hallway with different archways leading to every Disney _and_ Pixar world (AKA movie). With regular jeans, regular shirt, regular hair. Regular skin.

Jiminy: So, when _are_ you coming to visit them again?

Max: I don't know-

Jiminy: Two days from now?

Max: Okay, maybe that.

Jiminy: Hehe. See ya, Max. *leaves into his archway to _Pinocchio_*

Max is left standing there alone.

Max: Hm. Now what? I'll probably go watch _Beauty and the Beast,_ and say the absolutely same things I said in that world. *walks off and whistles the song "Belle"*

As the name fit his thoughts.

_The End._

* * *

><p>AN: Soo...huh? Huh? :D

I just had to add that last part, you know. Because he kinda stood out through the whole movie. :D Thank you for the people who read this story! And also thank you to the people who reviewed, and DisneyPrincess who apparently was nice enough to review all of my chapters. You cool. :D

And you'll probably think it's kinda like Kingdom Hearts. Kind of. I didn't intentionally made it to _be_ like Kingdom Hearts though. So that's creepy. Sometimes my ideas end up just like other people's ideas. O_O

Please review, and watch out for my Tangled fanfic! _Tangled: Mixed Version Parody_. Max'll be in there toooo. _And I wanna hear more comments about Max!_ Thanks for reading! Gotta dash! Okay, that sounded stupid (cause it came from PBS Kids). I'll just leave.


End file.
